Can’t have enough

Photograph : Pexels

I just cant seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep starring at you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep watching you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I find ways to not like you

I just can’t seem to have enough you

No matter how much I don’t want to exist without you

No! No! I just can’t seem to have enough

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Good Bye July!

Photograph  by Pexel

Dear July,

Thank you for an amazing month which has made a landmark in my life. Many things came into my life this month and many others have left.
I bid farewell to my grandmother as she passed on to the other side early July. I had a revelation about my roots towards the latter.
And in between tasted rejection like never before. It was painful but I must move on.
I didn't know you had so many things in store for me dear July.
It's been a shaker, a maker and a breaker!

With all the pain, you also brought me some delights my dear July. The sounds, scents and sights have filled my soul with such happiness. The people I've met, new friends I've made - I thank you for all the beautiful things that you brought into my life this month, dear July.

Here's hoping that come 2020 and I see you again, I'd have some exciting news to share with you.

Thank you dear July - you've rocked my year thus far. See you later!

Much Love,
Dew of May






Surprise me!

Photograph : RosheyFotografie

Surprise me with intelligent little talk
Surprise me with a some handpicked flowers
Surprise me with your sarcasm and humor
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with some senseless stories
Surprise me with a handful of chocolates
Surprise me with a gift of memories
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with a handwritten letter
Surprise me with surprise party
Surprise me with just about anything
Surprise me with anything at all

Farewell

Photograph by Pixel

I bid thee farewell oh lover from yesterday

I bid thee farewell oh worries of tomorrow

I bid thee farewell oh memories of old

I bid thee farewell oh dreams of gold

I bid thee farewell oh sadness and sorrow

I bid thee farewell oh joys to follow

I bid thee farewell. Oh! I bid thee farewell.

Everyone’s Searching

 Everyone out there is searching for something or someone
A daughter searching for the father that left the home
A mother for the infant she abandoned or gave up on
She searches for him and he searches for her
Lovers from decades ago
 What have you been searching for today?
Did you search for something lost yesterday?
Are you searching for something new coming your way?
We are all searching for something or someone
Along the way
 She is searching through the memories she put in a box
He is searching for the box of memories he put away
Bittersweet memories of the past
Let’s hope their paths cross again
So they don’t search no more
A child searches for the mother that abandoned him
The adult searches for the child within her
A widow searches for the partner that left her behind
A wife searches for the husband that left her for another
They are all searching for someone
She is searching for hope and faith within her
He is searching for something more supreme above
She is searching for something more meaningful
He is searching for something more stable
Do they search in vain? I don’t know not
When you fail to find what you search for
Years of memories carved deep into your skin
We all age and die one day
Searching for someone or something all our lives
I pray that you find what you are searching for
Cos I still haven’t found what am looking for

Living in a bubble

Life has it is to many has its own ups and downs. Some have more strength to cope with pressures of life than some others. This does not make the former greater than the latter nor the latter more incapable than the former.

No two lives are the same and there is no ‘one solution’ which can resolve similar problems. Each one’s problem is unique, so must the solution be.

When others state that you are living in your bubble and not aware of the World outside, it may not be true, all the time. Sometimes, few of us choose to live in a bubble to safeguard ourselves from further harm and criticism.

Living in a bubble is not meant for everyone nor is it the best solution for all lifes problems. Some of us who are social butterflies when restricted to a bubble may not survive for too long. But then again, you may say it is by choice.

Not everyone has the choice of living in a bubble. You may succumb to situations and circumstances in life that directs you in to your bubble. It is a rather unpleasant forcible act which is beyond your liking or control.

To some of us, our bubble is are safe house, our cocoon. And no matter what the external factors say or think of us, we may not want to move out of our bubble until we feel its safe. But how would we know if it is safe at all?

Living in a bubble is a rather challenging. It may preserve us or it may destroy us. But who are we to know which is the best option. We must take a risk and see if it works out or not!

Like I said living in a bubble is not for everyone! Let the bubble you live in drift away to some place safe!

The Thorns

As it states in the parable of the sower, I’ve pondered a little further on the area where the seeds fell among the thorns.

The thorns depicts the anxiety, worries, cares, riches and pleasures of life. The seeds that fell among the thorns did take root and grow to a certain extent. Unlike the ones that fell by the way side or on the rocky ground, we know that these seeds did burst into life. young saplings. However, it could grow only for a certain time.

I suppose there are only 02 ways that such a plant could survive.

  1. The plant has to be strong enough to outgrow the thorns.
  2. The thorns should be removed by an external force.

I’d start with the latter, where it would be the easiest thing to do. Somehow the thorns should be removed or at least trimmed off by an external source. This would assist the plant to outgrow the thorns to a certain extent. Depending on the type of plant which would grow into a tree the thorns will become insignificant over time.

Looking at the first option, I find it hard to see how this could happen. The plant would require adequate personal space to grow, expand its branches etc. I’d like think that the thorns could be a blessing for a while where it may protect the sapling of strong winds and extreme weather. But then again, the thorns may prick and damage the young plant contributing to its slow death.

Looking at the options available by my limited human thinking capacity, I am led to believe this;

That if an external source does not contribute towards destroying the thorns or uprooting the plant from its current context and replanting the sapling, it would seem impossible for the young plant to survive among the thorns – ultimately leading it to death.

Time

Only a matter of time when her chains fall and she is set free

Only a matter of time until he realizes that she was chained for too long

Only a matter of time when they move on from the past to the future

Only time will tell – time can tell – Yes, time must tell!

Time was what got them busy chasing cars around their heads

Time was what made them have good memories time after time

Time was what made them simply regret of wasted time

Time was what made them think If I could turn back time

But it was also the one that made them say I’ve had the time of my life

How funny is time – it just goes round and round in circles

Its rhythm strange and alien to the human minds

Time is time and pointless chasing time!

The Kiss

You are there but it does not seem like its you I know in real life

You wait patiently to catch me when I am alone and the one I am with has gone by

In a blinking of an eye you swiftly move towards and extend your arms around my waist

You pull me closer to you and attempt to kiss me- I refuse and rebel

You wouldn’t let me go and tell me how much you’ve missed me

Does it matter but I seem to be enjoying being held by you in this embrace

I did ask you to kiss me many years ago I think to myself

But I know its not right and I try to pull back and ask you to leave me alone

You won’t give up but squeeze me harder and kiss me

As your lips touch mine I refrain from kissing you back – I hold back

You continue to kiss me and now am feeling like it’s one way ticket to the moon

He comes back and swiftly you let go of me and stand there as if nothing happened

I am blushing in shock and shame that I let this happen

You wait calmly like a hawk to attack its prey

He leaves my side again and even before I could run away from you

Here I am in your arms again – you tell me you want me though I am someone elses

And you kiss me again, much longer and I lose my senses

You’ve known how much I wanted you to kiss me many years ago but you didn’t just do that

So why on earth now? We are none of that just good friends

I open my eyes and realize it was just a dream!

I lay awake thinking why I had seen you when I had not even thought of you all this while

The kiss in the dream felt so real, so warm and so desperate

Why did you come into my dreams to kiss me that way?

Photograph : http://www.pexels.com

Stars go Blue

Stars go blue when I close my eyes and think of you

The moments when nothing else exists besides you

Your smile, your voice the warmth of your love for me

That’s when the stars go for blue for me

Stars go blue every time you give me that look

That something special only we both know of that look

Your eyes dancing with a few unspoken words

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every time you take me by surprise

Words or deeds it doesn’t matter its my surprise

You know what surprises for me are meant to be

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every moment you spend with me

I know now that we are always meant to be

I thank God that you are mine and mine to be

That’s why the stars go blue for me

Photograph : Pexels

Red Backpack

She put all her dreams and hopes – her heart soul and mind

A little red backpack – she puts everything she’s got

Into your hands she places that red backpack one day

Trusting you to take care, guard and love all the way

You took the little red backpack and its belongings

Like toys you played and tossed them away

Lost all that was in the backpack with your games

Gone for far too long and in hiding you remained

She asked for it back one day so she could move on

And all you had to tell her were little white lies

She kept asking and asking as doubts started to multiply

Something was not right she begged for whats hers

You returned the red backpack to her one day

With nothing worthwhile just a backpack full of lies

Every time she looked in her backpack for whats hers

Her heart, soul, mind, dreams hopes and herself

Remains now regrets remorse and an emptiness so old

The little red backpack is now nothing but mere rubbish

Red backpack with dust now worn out and torn

She dumps its in the Dump truck for good its gone

Stable

Since of late she gets a pounding from him with this word “stable”

She wipes her tears asking why he thinks she is “unstable”

He says “You are not stable. I need you to be stable.Unwavering”

“How can you say that I am wavering? especially when I am the stable one right now” she thinks to herself.

But she never utters a word. One day he would realize that she was the only stable thing in his life!

My playlist

So here’s some music that I enjoy listening to any time of the day.

Hope you will check them out and enjoy!

  1. Jump – Pointer Sisters
  2. Sahara Nights – FR David
  3. Twist my Sobriety – Tanita Tikaram
  4. Hold On – Wilson Philips
  5. Don’t Dream its Over – Crowded House
  6. I keep Forgetting – Michael McDonald
  7. Just Like Heaven – Katie Melua
  8. Hold me now – Thompson Twins
  9. Black Velvet– Alanna Myles
  10. Stay – Lisa Loeb
  11. Ordinary Day – Duran Duran
  12. Don’t stop me now – Queen
  13. Holiday – Scorpians
  14. Freedom – Wham
  15. We didn’t start the fire – Billy Joel
  16. Eye in the Sky – The Alan Parsons Project
  17. Get outta my dreams get in to my car – Billy Ocean
  18. Owner of a lonely heart – Yes
  19. Wrapped – Gloria Estefan
  20. Make me loose control – Eric Carmen
  21. Man in motion – John Parr
  22. Maria – Blondie
  23. Everybody’s Changing – Keane
  24. Dancing on the ceiling – Lionel Richie
  25. I knew you were waiting – George Michael, Aretha Franklin

The Memorial Service

This is based on true events.

Jane, a late 30’s single was raking her head with late nights etc trying to finish her thesis for her Masters degree. She was invited by an elderly lady to accompany her to a particular memorial service.

Just to let you know, the elderly lady had briefly informed Jane that this deceased lady was a friend of hers from church and thaty she had met with an accident early February and passed on leaving behind her husband, and three daughters in their late teens.

Jane was so shaken to hear the details of the death of this individual and thought it was good for her to take a break from her busy schedule and accompany her elderly lady friend to this memorial service.

So Jane and her elderly lady friend enters the church; the memorial service takes place in a language Jane is not too familiar with. There are songs sung, prayers and speeches made. And Jane was so moved she started crying, initially a few drops of tears strolled down her cheeks. After a few minutes, she was overwhelmed that she started weeping – weeping, quite heavily as she was reminded that this lady had met with an accident just at the beginning of this month. Jane was a bit confused as to where the coffin was but did not want to question her companion during the service. May be they had a funeral privately, she thought to herself.

She observed the immediate family members of the deceased. They were not moved, unshaken, not a drop of tear! The daughters all stood very still and unmoved at the passing away of their mother. Jane was further overwhelmed at this sight and kept weeping rather loud, drawing the attention of others at the church service.

Upon closure of the service the deceased lady’s husband walked towards Jane and invited her to join them for some tea and refreshments in the church hall. Many strangers kept looking at Jane in a rather awkward manner and Jane’s mascara had also washed off onto her cheeks and she did look a mess.

With all the attention from all the strangers Jane was quite embarrassed and was very determined to leave immediately. She was so very heartbroken and sad at the thought that none of the individuals at the service had shed a tear but all looked very calm and poised. She thought of them to have cold hearts; especially the immediate family members – the husband and the daughters. How could they just be like this when this lady had a bad death just days ago, she thought to herself.

Whilst Jane was trying to make a quiet exist, she heard a familiar voice ” Hey, Jane whatsup?”. She was shocked to see a colleague from work approach her. Jane softly says “hi”, still cleaning up face messed up mascara. And the friend says ” Wow.. are you alright? You were weeping throughout the service. Is everything ok?” So Jane replies ” Oh yes I am fine, Just so sad to hear how she passed away after that really bad accident and no one seems to be sad, that made me so upset”. So her colleague whilst trying to comfort her asked ” are you related the deceased? How do you know Mrs. Prince?”. Jane is embarrassed but tells her colleague that she has got no clue as to who Mrs. Prince was but heard about her death at the beginning of this month and accompanied this elderly lady for this service.

To Jane’s astonishment her colleague breaks into laughter “You don’t even know this lady and you are here for the memorial. Well it’s been a year since she passed away”.

Just to let you know that Jane had never been to a memorial service before!

The End.

Live.Forever.Young

I don’t know about you but I am a huge fan of the pop music from the 80’s and this is one one those songs that will stay on with me for a long long time.

Forever Young by Alphaville.

I’ve not made any comments about the Band itself, to be honest I don’t follow them anymore. But this song has got me hooked on to it since my early teens back in the 90’s.

The lyrics of the song are wierd in a good way. Many may not connect with the lyrics but there is some truth to it.

My favourite verse:

Forever Young – Alphaville

Do check out the song. Try and listen without checking out the video. Read the lyrics too. The tune is vibrant but haunting.

Turning point

Lately, I’ve been thinking just as I have before

I didn’t want to know any one besides you

I chose to walk away, it was my decision

You let me act my choice and walked away

Decades gone by and both moved on with life

How nice to still strike a little conversation

With the one I dreamed of building my life with

We were just kids started off as good friends

Helping each other with teeenage years

What a fine man you have now become

Pure in heart yet sound in mind, faithful till the end

It was my turning point in life but I won’t go there

Its true that First Cut is the deepest nostalgic as it is

We all have our firsts and our turning point!

How far more to go

This is a note a friend of mine who is in grave pain right now and I cannot be there for her in person and I know not what to tell her nor give her some hope that things were going to be ok.

How far more to go untill there is light at the end of the tunnel?

How far more to go untill things get better for you and me?

We are both in the same boat with different loads in two corners

Hoping for a ray of light, a smiling thought to subdue the pain

I cannot hold you, hug you nor be near you right now

And though miles apart I feel what you are feeling right now

Nothing I say will help to improve but I will keep trying

Just to be there for you when you’ve got no one around

Be strong my friend I’d love you anyway

Despite whatever life’s decisions comes your way

I will hold your hand and help you as I could

To help you get through with life in this world!

Cos no matter how far we go in life I will go that far with you!

The Facial

So the story goes that this woman in her late 30’s decided to get a facial afer quite some time. Rowena has been having it on her list, but since of late she has been resticted in her spending due to other family financial responsibilities.

She walks into the salon where she had made an appointment for 1730hours, she managed to pop in to her home after work for a quick refresh and got to the salon just in time.

The receptionist directs her to the beautician. Rowena is excited at the thought of this pamper for the next hour or more. So the beautician starts the stadard process of cleaning up Rowena’s face and neck and then steaming. During this time, Rowena’s little voice in her head starts becoming louder ” Hey, are you sure that your face should be steamed for so long? Should you not cough or make it known that you have been left here with the steamer in your face”. Oh well, Rowena shut the voice in her head off for a while and tried to just relax and enjoy.

After applying further more creams and cleansers etc the steamer is again shoved in her face. Now this time, the tiny voice in Rowena’s head grew incredibly loud making her sigh and irritant. Rowena tried to keep it under control. Due to a recent neck sprain the seating position where the next was resting on a chair which almost remminded her that of the dentist chair was begnning to really play socks her mind.

There was absolutely not a hum from the beauticuan as she carried on with her routine in getting this facial done for her client. Rowena, wanting to be polite simply kept quiet but wanted to know how long more untill this was all over so she could just go home.

At one point the therapy felt so good that Rowena slightly dozed off and then when awake all that was in her mind was ” I just wanna leave” It was painstaking and very loud. Her little voice in the head was no longer a little voice. It made Rowena’s arms and legs to nudge and cross and indicate all signs of irriration. “Just behave will you?, it will soon be over” she told her voice in her head whilst thinking of the song “I will survive”

Alas, after an hour and half, it was all over and the cotton was taken away from Rowena’s eyes. But the funny thing was when she opened her eyes she felt so sloppy and almost as if she was trying to wake up from sleep or snap of out from some day dreaming session.

She asked for extra tissues to just clean her eyes more and more so she could see better. It felt as if her eyes were deeply sunk in some fancy spa. Finally, it was done! Rowena was pleased that despite the torement her the little voice in her head had put her through she looked lush her skin kept screaming “Thank you”. She thanked her beautician and walked off.

Sometimes in life, the most anticiapted moments can actually become a pain; for someone who has forgotten to just unwind and chill such little luxuries can actually be tormenting.

The End-

I am not the only One!

I know I am not the only one in this world to feel the way I do

My mind is like a production house with all kinds of concepts floating

Be it baking, photography, writing or travel thoughts overloading

All the time, sometimes I just cannot seem to be sleeping.

I know I am not the only one in this world to have these thoughts

Of breaking in to a vault at a bank to discover special expensive items

Its not about stealing or anything, its just about the planning and execution

Its a harsh thought I know, but times are tough my friend.

I know I am not the only one in this world to do what I do

Wanting to show such compassion to even the most cruel being

You may call that your enemey but I’d like to do something

To see that life transformed into something splendid.

I am not the only one whose ridden with feelings, thoughts and deeds

I know there is another you out there – somehwhere

So if that is you reading this post – please leave me note

Tea with Duran Duran

If there is a place in streets of Fort, Colombo that makes me very nostalgic, I would say it is the Pagoda Tea Room at Chatham Street.

I guess it is my love towards the 80’s band Duran Duran; a great British band from Brummy.

Though I was exposed to thier music in the 80’s as a child and an early teen I was completely oblivious and ignorant to not know that the great footage from thier music video Hungry Like TheWolf was filmed mainly this is quaint tea room and surrounding streets of Fort, Colombo.

My British boss mentioned this to me back in 2010 but I did nothing to discover this place untill my husband-to-be at the time invited me here for a cuppa tea – According to Jude, the cupa tea served here along with an eclair or the infamouse pineapple gateau slice is heavenly. Few things we have in common is our sweet tooth. So, somewhere in 2012, I did actually made it to this place and I just felt so nostalgic. Hungry Like The Wolf just played in my head a million times.

To make things all the more interesting, we meet this server who as actually been working at this tea room at the time Duran Duran filmed the music video. So he said ” Ah ofcourse, I was just a young lad when Dooran Dooran was here”. So immediately we made a connection; I connected with this place so much since then.

During the years we enjoyed many lunch and tea times with just ourselves or with a friend or two never failing to tell the story of this place and at times wondered if Duran Duran would want to pay a visit here.

Time passes by and this is 2019. With my work in very close proximity to this tea house I always manage to escape and spend some time here to enjoy some snacks and bask in my nostalgic moment. Sadly, the delicious rice and curry is no longer served but as take away packs. The traditional tea has been replaced with machine made instant teas.

Tourists and locals alike make the best of this place today. I’ve even witnessed interviews and work meetings take place at the Pagoda Tea Room. I guess it has become somewhat of a cosy comfy hangout for many in the area may it be shopping, commuting or working.

Depsite the many changes that has taken place over the years, I believe as a Duran Duran fan, I will always cherish this tea room and have that strong connection for as long as I live.

To me it will always be a nostalgic memory that I have created in my head about having tea with Duran Duran whilst they prepared themselves for the music video Hungry Like The Wolf, which happens to be one of my favorite songs, espcially the rendition by David Cook champion of Americal Idol Season 7. A hint to my favourite things.

Cheers to Duran Duran!

Chasing Time

We all have dreams big or small, simple or complicated – still they are all dreams

We all have goals we would like to acheive in our life time

Whether pratical or not some even unrealistic in the eyes of others

It doesnt matter what others think or say about your dreams and goals

It is upto to you to work at it and reach out!

For someone us who have been trying to do so all our lives

A year or two, a decade or more has just by  with time

It now feels like we are chasing time as we are running out of time

It looks just like the grass and plants that wither over time!

December, Baby!

So it is that time of the year where everyone talks about the season holidays, family gatherings, sharing gifts, preparing for the new year and all that excitement of December. Its December baby!

December oh why have you come so soon? January seems like yesterday

Everything seemed to have moved so fast this year

Celebrations just around the corner to start the new year

Everyone is busy running about simply being busy

Most of us have families to celebrate this time of the year, but what about them that not? 

Blings and bits of glitter everywhere 

Entertainment engaging everyone everywhere

Random notes of love just because its Christmas

And as we prepare to celebrate Christmas this December, let us ponder and make some conscious decisions to make someone else’s life a bit brighter than yesterday.

Will you die for me?

I have been wondering if there is so much love left in this world where I could find just one person who would die for me? Not that I literately mean that but for the sake that they love me so much? I don’t think so!

Though I love the thought of someone willing for die for me simply because they love me, I also know that such kind of love does not exist anymore in this world.

There are many stories about friends and lovers taking place of thier friend of lover or died on behalf of thier friend or lover or even the whole world. Well, yes its a fact that Christ died for the entire humanity but that’s Christ.

Yes, there is a person I would die for in my life but just as much as I know that he would not die for me, I know I would question my sanity if I were to actually die for him. Is it really worth it? Then what will happen to me? Will I even be remembered for dying for this particular person? May be, just may be he would mourn and be sad about me dying for him but eventually life goes on. Like rest of the world he would move on too!

Floating

Float away like a featherweight person into the thin air like a rocket
Gone away in to the into space and floating away like a water bubble

Fly away with me into the unknown into the supermassive black-hole
No will know that am just floating away in some other universe

Just floating … floating… floating

Take me places take me somewhere only we know somewhere in space
Places out of time and space and none of life that I know
Fly away with me into the universes light years away

Just floating… floating… Floating…

I’d listen to all my favourite songs of old up there somewhere we belong
I hope my music player does work so long in time and space
Fly away with me in to the stars and galaxies that shine so bright

Just floating.. floating.. floating…

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