Second Chance

You make mistakes so do I
But how often do we give
Just one more chance
That Second Chance
You broke my heart so did I
How hard is it to forgive and forget
Just one more chance
That Second Chance
We have only just one life to live
I fear its the truth and nothing more
So don't be afraid to give and receive
That Second Chance in this life!
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The Rejection Game

“No” she said when she was conceived her your womb
“No” he said when he realized she was with child
The first glimpse of rejection you both introduced to her
But she forgives you both as that is something she must do
“You’re not able to do this”, “Don’t be silly you’ cant’
“Don’t”, “No”, “You can’t do that”, “Listen when we tell you”
These were the words you pushed down on her
She had no clue what life would unfold for her
Strict rules around the house with severe punishments 
She was so afraid of him, so much so, more than she should
She probably thought if he was like this God must be a tyrant
Fear was instilled even before she learn’t her A,B,C’s
Life went on this way until one fine day arrived someone new
A little baby boy - She looked at him and said “You’re my brother”
She adored him and loved him with every beat in her heart
Not knowing that she was on level 2 in the game of rejection
Time went by and the discrimination grew larger than life
“No, you can’t cos you are a girl”, “yes, he can. He’s a boy”
Bicycles were denied, Swimming lessons were denied
“Learn to play the piano” she was told so she did
Years kept going and she had no clue why her sexuality was a concern
She began to hate herself for being a girl & very soon a woman
Her mother never taught her anything about the ways of life
She did’t know whom to ask – She found things on her own
A few more years gone by and now she started questioning
They didn’t approve her questioning their authority
She was seen as a rebellious teenager- a difficult child
In her mind she was strong and loyal, a beautiful mind
She did everything she was asked to do and time flew by
Many things came and went by, in her colorful life
One day drew near when she had a revelation so true
All these memories of a miserable childhood she lived
The spirit within her rose up one fine day into new heights
All these questions she ever had about her life unraveled
In her heart she knew she was a lover, an adventurer, a dreamer
She had become that being - survival to fight rejection
The spirit within her told her after decades gone by
The secrets which was never told to her before
She knew at once she was not wanted or needed
By the ones that birthed her and gave her life
She was perhaps not the boy child they wanted
She was perhaps conceived when they were not ready
Yet the first rules out the latter as she learns
That even if she was the fifth she would still be rejected
She yearns to find out from her that gave her birth
But she has enough wisdom not to do so as she’d want
Rejection is such a powerful force in life she knows
She realized that rejection = hate and there is no way out
To all who have been rejected at some point in your life
Just know that one may reject you but another will love you
For who you are and what you are and what you have become
Love covers all and only love from the heart can make you whole
Forgive, Hard to forget its true but try and Move On
We have only one life to live here on earth so make it count
Game Over - Rejection!

Thankful

Thank you for rescuing me from messes almost made
Thank you for always giving me a way out for escape
Thank you for silently watching over me all the time
Even when I don't deserve your love or attention
Thank you for that still small voice always guiding me
Thank you for the burden that's made light for me
Thank you for sending prompts of all sorts to me
For changing my direction every time I made it wrong
Thank you for the angels that always keeps on guard
Thank you for the strangers that come for my rescue
Thank you for giving me a big heart to love the least
For keeping my spirit away from all ill of this world
Thank you for the food on my table everyday
Thank you for shelter and roof upon my head
Thank you for friends and foe both alike
If not for trials I'd not be where I should be
Thank you for the many talents I have
Thank you for the ambitious dreams I have
Thank you for the hope of something eternal
Something to look forward on the other side

Tired

Tired of chasing after the lost
Tired of chasing pretty rainbows
Tired of self expectations
Tired of hoping for the best
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

Tired of being patient
Tired of being harassed
Tired of feeling rejected
Tired of feeling like a loser
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

When will this all end?
When will I truly live?
When will I see myself where I should be?
Other than feeling and being tired

To be or not to be?

Life throws all kinds of challenges that we face each day
To be or not to be is a question in every man’s way
It’s a choice we all have to make each day
No matter the outcome or what come may
Should I write to him or not?
Will she get offended if I tell her off?
Should I call off this thing that I have with her?
Will he understand if I said what I said?
Should I continue in this abusive relationship?
Or should I just walk away and leave him behind?
W ill she understand if I left her cos I can’t take no more?
Or should I just zip it up and bear it a bit longer?
Is this love we have really getting us somewhere?
Its become dull and boring, how long must I stay?
Should I help my friend who plans to this crazy thing?
Or should I just let him deal with his own messes?

To be or not to be? – that is the question! ” – WS

It is a question for each day!

Everyone’s Searching

 Everyone out there is searching for something or someone
A daughter searching for the father that left the home
A mother for the infant she abandoned or gave up on
She searches for him and he searches for her
Lovers from decades ago
 What have you been searching for today?
Did you search for something lost yesterday?
Are you searching for something new coming your way?
We are all searching for something or someone
Along the way
 She is searching through the memories she put in a box
He is searching for the box of memories he put away
Bittersweet memories of the past
Let’s hope their paths cross again
So they don’t search no more
A child searches for the mother that abandoned him
The adult searches for the child within her
A widow searches for the partner that left her behind
A wife searches for the husband that left her for another
They are all searching for someone
She is searching for hope and faith within her
He is searching for something more supreme above
She is searching for something more meaningful
He is searching for something more stable
Do they search in vain? I don’t know not
When you fail to find what you search for
Years of memories carved deep into your skin
We all age and die one day
Searching for someone or something all our lives
I pray that you find what you are searching for
Cos I still haven’t found what am looking for

That Smile

Her smile was something he fell in love with

He said it was the smile that changed his life

Her smile which was genuine and warm

Put all his worries and cares far behind

That smile he’d say can melt the hardest of hearts

Her spirit was free and her heart so ever big

Perhaps so easy for someone like her to smile away

Even when everyone of us were falling apart

I wish I could have that kind of a spirit

To smile my cares away for good

I’d ask her to teach me to smile that way

I’d like to make that smile a part of mine

Time

Only a matter of time when her chains fall and she is set free

Only a matter of time until he realizes that she was chained for too long

Only a matter of time when they move on from the past to the future

Only time will tell – time can tell – Yes, time must tell!

Time was what got them busy chasing cars around their heads

Time was what made them have good memories time after time

Time was what made them simply regret of wasted time

Time was what made them think If I could turn back time

But it was also the one that made them say I’ve had the time of my life

How funny is time – it just goes round and round in circles

Its rhythm strange and alien to the human minds

Time is time and pointless chasing time!

Memoirs to my brother

Remember the times we loved playing hide n’ seek you and I with some friends?
Those days of watching Beverly hills 90210 , Robin Hood, Allo Allo which was illegal for kids in our household

All the dress up games we simply loved to indulge in
The prayer meetings we used to conduct and play church

Photo by Victoria Borodinova on Pexels.com

The tape recording sessions we used to make with dad’s big radio player And the large never ending collection of music tapes we acquired

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Just singing Christmas carols hymns just for fun cos we loved to sing
All those little conversations of hours and secrets exchanged

Remember those times where we played endless games of cricket, hopscotch and dog and the bone?
All the board games into endless days and nights

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The moments we shared organizing our super massive stamp collection
Eating food from the refrigerator which was off-limits to you

The times we wrestled and it got personal and we hurt each other real bad
The places we just wandered off to without letting the adults know about it

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Remember those times of our younger days gone by?
I hold them dearly in my heart till my time on earth is done
If not for you, I don’t think this life would have been worthwhile
Thank you for these wonderful unique memories only you and I could have made

Stars go Blue

Stars go blue when I close my eyes and think of you

The moments when nothing else exists besides you

Your smile, your voice the warmth of your love for me

That’s when the stars go for blue for me

Stars go blue every time you give me that look

That something special only we both know of that look

Your eyes dancing with a few unspoken words

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every time you take me by surprise

Words or deeds it doesn’t matter its my surprise

You know what surprises for me are meant to be

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every moment you spend with me

I know now that we are always meant to be

I thank God that you are mine and mine to be

That’s why the stars go blue for me

Photograph : Pexels

Secret Place

There is only one secret place that I wish be

The place where I find you!

Teach me your ways the deepest awesome magnificent

Only in your secret place will I find

I want to know you more and more and more till no more

Will I lack that understanding of who you really are

Take me higher and deeper within your palm

And let me bask in your understanding and wisdom

I need not fret when I am in that secret place

For I am all I am meant to be and much more

The peace of knowing what you have planned for me

My calling and your will for me,

This is my only desire – it has -is – and always will be!

Take me to that Secret place that I may know you!

Stable

Since of late she gets a pounding from him with this word “stable”

She wipes her tears asking why he thinks she is “unstable”

He says “You are not stable. I need you to be stable.Unwavering”

“How can you say that I am wavering? especially when I am the stable one right now” she thinks to herself.

But she never utters a word. One day he would realize that she was the only stable thing in his life!

Eternal Love

When the rest of the world celebrates Valentines Day, here I am thinking of the only one person who has introuduced to me an eternal love.

I knew not what love is except the way the world sees it

An emotion, a feeling something that gives butterflies in one’s tummy

I know that it is not just a feeling or something restricted to emotions

It has got to be more deep wide and overwhelming in everyway

I know not of any love besides thee, the one who died to set me free

The one who promised to never leave me even unto the end of the age

The one who is ever present and always listening to my hearts’ cry

I know not of any love besides thee !

Thank you for choosing to love me even when I didn’t deserve thy love!

Live.Forever.Young

I don’t know about you but I am a huge fan of the pop music from the 80’s and this is one one those songs that will stay on with me for a long long time.

Forever Young by Alphaville.

I’ve not made any comments about the Band itself, to be honest I don’t follow them anymore. But this song has got me hooked on to it since my early teens back in the 90’s.

The lyrics of the song are wierd in a good way. Many may not connect with the lyrics but there is some truth to it.

My favourite verse:

Forever Young – Alphaville

Do check out the song. Try and listen without checking out the video. Read the lyrics too. The tune is vibrant but haunting.

How far more to go

This is a note a friend of mine who is in grave pain right now and I cannot be there for her in person and I know not what to tell her nor give her some hope that things were going to be ok.

How far more to go untill there is light at the end of the tunnel?

How far more to go untill things get better for you and me?

We are both in the same boat with different loads in two corners

Hoping for a ray of light, a smiling thought to subdue the pain

I cannot hold you, hug you nor be near you right now

And though miles apart I feel what you are feeling right now

Nothing I say will help to improve but I will keep trying

Just to be there for you when you’ve got no one around

Be strong my friend I’d love you anyway

Despite whatever life’s decisions comes your way

I will hold your hand and help you as I could

To help you get through with life in this world!

Cos no matter how far we go in life I will go that far with you!

The Facial

So the story goes that this woman in her late 30’s decided to get a facial afer quite some time. Rowena has been having it on her list, but since of late she has been resticted in her spending due to other family financial responsibilities.

She walks into the salon where she had made an appointment for 1730hours, she managed to pop in to her home after work for a quick refresh and got to the salon just in time.

The receptionist directs her to the beautician. Rowena is excited at the thought of this pamper for the next hour or more. So the beautician starts the stadard process of cleaning up Rowena’s face and neck and then steaming. During this time, Rowena’s little voice in her head starts becoming louder ” Hey, are you sure that your face should be steamed for so long? Should you not cough or make it known that you have been left here with the steamer in your face”. Oh well, Rowena shut the voice in her head off for a while and tried to just relax and enjoy.

After applying further more creams and cleansers etc the steamer is again shoved in her face. Now this time, the tiny voice in Rowena’s head grew incredibly loud making her sigh and irritant. Rowena tried to keep it under control. Due to a recent neck sprain the seating position where the next was resting on a chair which almost remminded her that of the dentist chair was begnning to really play socks her mind.

There was absolutely not a hum from the beauticuan as she carried on with her routine in getting this facial done for her client. Rowena, wanting to be polite simply kept quiet but wanted to know how long more untill this was all over so she could just go home.

At one point the therapy felt so good that Rowena slightly dozed off and then when awake all that was in her mind was ” I just wanna leave” It was painstaking and very loud. Her little voice in the head was no longer a little voice. It made Rowena’s arms and legs to nudge and cross and indicate all signs of irriration. “Just behave will you?, it will soon be over” she told her voice in her head whilst thinking of the song “I will survive”

Alas, after an hour and half, it was all over and the cotton was taken away from Rowena’s eyes. But the funny thing was when she opened her eyes she felt so sloppy and almost as if she was trying to wake up from sleep or snap of out from some day dreaming session.

She asked for extra tissues to just clean her eyes more and more so she could see better. It felt as if her eyes were deeply sunk in some fancy spa. Finally, it was done! Rowena was pleased that despite the torement her the little voice in her head had put her through she looked lush her skin kept screaming “Thank you”. She thanked her beautician and walked off.

Sometimes in life, the most anticiapted moments can actually become a pain; for someone who has forgotten to just unwind and chill such little luxuries can actually be tormenting.

The End-

I am not the only One!

I know I am not the only one in this world to feel the way I do

My mind is like a production house with all kinds of concepts floating

Be it baking, photography, writing or travel thoughts overloading

All the time, sometimes I just cannot seem to be sleeping.

I know I am not the only one in this world to have these thoughts

Of breaking in to a vault at a bank to discover special expensive items

Its not about stealing or anything, its just about the planning and execution

Its a harsh thought I know, but times are tough my friend.

I know I am not the only one in this world to do what I do

Wanting to show such compassion to even the most cruel being

You may call that your enemey but I’d like to do something

To see that life transformed into something splendid.

I am not the only one whose ridden with feelings, thoughts and deeds

I know there is another you out there – somehwhere

So if that is you reading this post – please leave me note

Tea with Duran Duran

If there is a place in streets of Fort, Colombo that makes me very nostalgic, I would say it is the Pagoda Tea Room at Chatham Street.

I guess it is my love towards the 80’s band Duran Duran; a great British band from Brummy.

Though I was exposed to thier music in the 80’s as a child and an early teen I was completely oblivious and ignorant to not know that the great footage from thier music video Hungry Like TheWolf was filmed mainly this is quaint tea room and surrounding streets of Fort, Colombo.

My British boss mentioned this to me back in 2010 but I did nothing to discover this place untill my husband-to-be at the time invited me here for a cuppa tea – According to Jude, the cupa tea served here along with an eclair or the infamouse pineapple gateau slice is heavenly. Few things we have in common is our sweet tooth. So, somewhere in 2012, I did actually made it to this place and I just felt so nostalgic. Hungry Like The Wolf just played in my head a million times.

To make things all the more interesting, we meet this server who as actually been working at this tea room at the time Duran Duran filmed the music video. So he said ” Ah ofcourse, I was just a young lad when Dooran Dooran was here”. So immediately we made a connection; I connected with this place so much since then.

During the years we enjoyed many lunch and tea times with just ourselves or with a friend or two never failing to tell the story of this place and at times wondered if Duran Duran would want to pay a visit here.

Time passes by and this is 2019. With my work in very close proximity to this tea house I always manage to escape and spend some time here to enjoy some snacks and bask in my nostalgic moment. Sadly, the delicious rice and curry is no longer served but as take away packs. The traditional tea has been replaced with machine made instant teas.

Tourists and locals alike make the best of this place today. I’ve even witnessed interviews and work meetings take place at the Pagoda Tea Room. I guess it has become somewhat of a cosy comfy hangout for many in the area may it be shopping, commuting or working.

Depsite the many changes that has taken place over the years, I believe as a Duran Duran fan, I will always cherish this tea room and have that strong connection for as long as I live.

To me it will always be a nostalgic memory that I have created in my head about having tea with Duran Duran whilst they prepared themselves for the music video Hungry Like The Wolf, which happens to be one of my favorite songs, espcially the rendition by David Cook champion of Americal Idol Season 7. A hint to my favourite things.

Cheers to Duran Duran!

Book Review : Meltdown

I enjoy reading all kinds and types of books from history to science fiction to fantasy, even documentary types. The Authors I enjoy vary from Stephen King, Arthur C. Clarke, Ben Elton to John Grisham.

Meltdown by Ben Elton really is a great read. It is a page turner with lots of humour, wit and ofcourse realtity.

I just finished reading it a few weeks ago and found it to be very timely, entertaining and obviously an eye opener. Going through a slightly similar situation faced by lead role Jimmy, about his unwise financial choices made such a big impact on the general wellbieng of himself and mostly his family of wife and 03 children.

The book is a great read  for those who want to relax end of the day with a good read with lots of serious and practical stuff in it. Seriously, you must give it a try as it was very entertaining and enjoyable to to core. I love the fact that it is sometimes subtle and otherwise very direct with plenty of sarcasm, the practical life of a married man with kids and a wife and all that jazz following his misfortunes. The sense of creativity that goes on his mind and his wife’s along with the ‘circle of friends’ that he grew up with.
It is hillarious at some points and some places I did have a tear or two.

So with all the ecnonomic crunch that most of us are experiencing, this is a great read to start of your 2019! Happy Reading!

Chasing Time

We all have dreams big or small, simple or complicated – still they are all dreams

We all have goals we would like to acheive in our life time

Whether pratical or not some even unrealistic in the eyes of others

It doesnt matter what others think or say about your dreams and goals

It is upto to you to work at it and reach out!

For someone us who have been trying to do so all our lives

A year or two, a decade or more has just by  with time

It now feels like we are chasing time as we are running out of time

It looks just like the grass and plants that wither over time!

Will you die for me?

I have been wondering if there is so much love left in this world where I could find just one person who would die for me? Not that I literately mean that but for the sake that they love me so much? I don’t think so!

Though I love the thought of someone willing for die for me simply because they love me, I also know that such kind of love does not exist anymore in this world.

There are many stories about friends and lovers taking place of thier friend of lover or died on behalf of thier friend or lover or even the whole world. Well, yes its a fact that Christ died for the entire humanity but that’s Christ.

Yes, there is a person I would die for in my life but just as much as I know that he would not die for me, I know I would question my sanity if I were to actually die for him. Is it really worth it? Then what will happen to me? Will I even be remembered for dying for this particular person? May be, just may be he would mourn and be sad about me dying for him but eventually life goes on. Like rest of the world he would move on too!

Bohemian Rhapsody

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) is a great movie in my opinion. It’s all about Freddie than it’s about Queen. Many fans would have expected it to be more of Queen but I thought otherwise and I loved every bit of it.

For obvious reasons its hard to get the real Mr.Faranheit but Rami Malek was the closest you can get I guess and I thought it was great effort put in by the actor though his eyes were so far from being Freddie.

Born in the 80’s,  a person such as myself was completely exposed to the madness of music in the 80’s and 90’s. I don’t think that my palette had a taste of Queen or Freddie as a youngster in early teens in the 90’s but I do remember seeing this woman with a moustache in the video “I want to break free

I immediately loved the song but had no clue what it was all about except the part ” God knows… I want to break free” as that is exactly what I accustomed to growing up in a family with very strict disciplinarians. Believe it or not I was not even allowed to watch music videos on TV programmes as it was considered evil and unholy.

Later in life I became a huge fan of Queen but was not too interested to know the life of Freddie himself but with the movie out I started doing a little research to read facts about his actual life.

The movie was so moving that I cried through the last bits where it depicted Queens performance at Live Aid 1985. I had no idea how big Live Aid was untill I started reading  Meltdown by Ben Elton . coincidently, I just read about Live Aid in this particular book just days before I went for the movie Bohemian Rhapsody. And it really resonated with me at the time, understanding about the life of Freddie.

I couldn’t help but wonder why the rest of the band members did or did not do to rescue Freddie from his promiscuous friends and lifestyle. Even Mary –  what had she done or not done.  One thought just flashed into my mind of something my father always told me. “Be careful of whom you call friends”. As I said my parents, my dad in particular was always so very concerned about the type of friends I had, and his over-protective stance has worked in two-ways. As a child it was hard for me to feel inclusive amongst certain circles of friends simply because I did not have the kind of freedom. But, later as I grew up and became an adult it has benefitted me in being able to understand about making and keeping friends good vs bad. Those that are true friends despite how the world sees them; which friends actually love me for who I am – my true self! This was an eye opener.

Anyway, back to Freddie.

This is one of favourite quotes of Mr. Farenheit. “When I’m dead, I want to be remembered as a musician of some worth and substance” – Freddie Mercury

How many of us out there even think  being of some worth and substance to ourselves or others?

I do not wish to be judgemental about Freddie. He left this wolrd when I was just 10 years old. But since I have made an effort to research of his life and works one thing is clear.

Above all, above fame and the limelight, he required only one thing and one thing alone in his life –  LOVE

He had so much love inside of him  –  But he did not know himself or how to express it! Its sad that he is no more!

It is all about Love end of the day! If there is no love – there is only one thing – Hate!

 

gray metal statue of man raising hand near dock
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

 

 

Floating

Float away like a featherweight person into the thin air like a rocket
Gone away in to the into space and floating away like a water bubble

Fly away with me into the unknown into the supermassive black-hole
No will know that am just floating away in some other universe

Just floating … floating… floating

Take me places take me somewhere only we know somewhere in space
Places out of time and space and none of life that I know
Fly away with me into the universes light years away

Just floating… floating… Floating…

I’d listen to all my favourite songs of old up there somewhere we belong
I hope my music player does work so long in time and space
Fly away with me in to the stars and galaxies that shine so bright

Just floating.. floating.. floating…

Imagine no democracy!

What is this country turning out into? Planet of the Apes!

Party hopping Politicians are too few to count these days!
Money has become their god, so there is no conscious of doing the right thing. It’s all about the money.. money… money…

Corruption and malpractices in the Governance of a country only leads to one thing and one thing alone.. Killing its own people. The people who placed their trust and voted the “suitable” folk in to power to make the change, action justice and develop the nation.

it is pathetic and humilating to see ourselves on the map for something like this!

In a few years time, a general knowledge question would pop up in a quiz

Question : “What is the Country that had 02 Prime Ministers at the same time?”
Answer : “Sri Lanka”

Photograph : Prexel

 

So high!

Is it a good thing or a bad thing

To climb every mountain my eyes behold
To fill up my lungs with the air on top
Bask in the clouds above the peaks
Feel the cool breeze passing by
Just chilax and click some frames

This is me just at this place called this “Worlds End”
Horton Plains in Sri Lanka my favourite place
I could just live here till my dying day
Watch the sun moon stars and clouds so high!

Photograph by :RosheYfotografie

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