Can’t have enough

Photograph : Pexels

I just cant seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep starring at you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep watching you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I find ways to not like you

I just can’t seem to have enough you

No matter how much I don’t want to exist without you

No! No! I just can’t seem to have enough

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The Rejection Game

“No” she said when she was conceived her your womb
“No” he said when he realized she was with child
The first glimpse of rejection you both introduced to her
But she forgives you both as that is something she must do
“You’re not able to do this”, “Don’t be silly you’ cant’
“Don’t”, “No”, “You can’t do that”, “Listen when we tell you”
These were the words you pushed down on her
She had no clue what life would unfold for her
Strict rules around the house with severe punishments 
She was so afraid of him, so much so, more than she should
She probably thought if he was like this God must be a tyrant
Fear was instilled even before she learn’t her A,B,C’s
Life went on this way until one fine day arrived someone new
A little baby boy - She looked at him and said “You’re my brother”
She adored him and loved him with every beat in her heart
Not knowing that she was on level 2 in the game of rejection
Time went by and the discrimination grew larger than life
“No, you can’t cos you are a girl”, “yes, he can. He’s a boy”
Bicycles were denied, Swimming lessons were denied
“Learn to play the piano” she was told so she did
Years kept going and she had no clue why her sexuality was a concern
She began to hate herself for being a girl & very soon a woman
Her mother never taught her anything about the ways of life
She did’t know whom to ask – She found things on her own
A few more years gone by and now she started questioning
They didn’t approve her questioning their authority
She was seen as a rebellious teenager- a difficult child
In her mind she was strong and loyal, a beautiful mind
She did everything she was asked to do and time flew by
Many things came and went by, in her colorful life
One day drew near when she had a revelation so true
All these memories of a miserable childhood she lived
The spirit within her rose up one fine day into new heights
All these questions she ever had about her life unraveled
In her heart she knew she was a lover, an adventurer, a dreamer
She had become that being - survival to fight rejection
The spirit within her told her after decades gone by
The secrets which was never told to her before
She knew at once she was not wanted or needed
By the ones that birthed her and gave her life
She was perhaps not the boy child they wanted
She was perhaps conceived when they were not ready
Yet the first rules out the latter as she learns
That even if she was the fifth she would still be rejected
She yearns to find out from her that gave her birth
But she has enough wisdom not to do so as she’d want
Rejection is such a powerful force in life she knows
She realized that rejection = hate and there is no way out
To all who have been rejected at some point in your life
Just know that one may reject you but another will love you
For who you are and what you are and what you have become
Love covers all and only love from the heart can make you whole
Forgive, Hard to forget its true but try and Move On
We have only one life to live here on earth so make it count
Game Over - Rejection!

Live.Forever.Young

I don’t know about you but I am a huge fan of the pop music from the 80’s and this is one one those songs that will stay on with me for a long long time.

Forever Young by Alphaville.

I’ve not made any comments about the Band itself, to be honest I don’t follow them anymore. But this song has got me hooked on to it since my early teens back in the 90’s.

The lyrics of the song are wierd in a good way. Many may not connect with the lyrics but there is some truth to it.

My favourite verse:

Forever Young – Alphaville

Do check out the song. Try and listen without checking out the video. Read the lyrics too. The tune is vibrant but haunting.

Turning point

Lately, I’ve been thinking just as I have before

I didn’t want to know any one besides you

I chose to walk away, it was my decision

You let me act my choice and walked away

Decades gone by and both moved on with life

How nice to still strike a little conversation

With the one I dreamed of building my life with

We were just kids started off as good friends

Helping each other with teeenage years

What a fine man you have now become

Pure in heart yet sound in mind, faithful till the end

It was my turning point in life but I won’t go there

Its true that First Cut is the deepest nostalgic as it is

We all have our firsts and our turning point!

The Facial

So the story goes that this woman in her late 30’s decided to get a facial afer quite some time. Rowena has been having it on her list, but since of late she has been resticted in her spending due to other family financial responsibilities.

She walks into the salon where she had made an appointment for 1730hours, she managed to pop in to her home after work for a quick refresh and got to the salon just in time.

The receptionist directs her to the beautician. Rowena is excited at the thought of this pamper for the next hour or more. So the beautician starts the stadard process of cleaning up Rowena’s face and neck and then steaming. During this time, Rowena’s little voice in her head starts becoming louder ” Hey, are you sure that your face should be steamed for so long? Should you not cough or make it known that you have been left here with the steamer in your face”. Oh well, Rowena shut the voice in her head off for a while and tried to just relax and enjoy.

After applying further more creams and cleansers etc the steamer is again shoved in her face. Now this time, the tiny voice in Rowena’s head grew incredibly loud making her sigh and irritant. Rowena tried to keep it under control. Due to a recent neck sprain the seating position where the next was resting on a chair which almost remminded her that of the dentist chair was begnning to really play socks her mind.

There was absolutely not a hum from the beauticuan as she carried on with her routine in getting this facial done for her client. Rowena, wanting to be polite simply kept quiet but wanted to know how long more untill this was all over so she could just go home.

At one point the therapy felt so good that Rowena slightly dozed off and then when awake all that was in her mind was ” I just wanna leave” It was painstaking and very loud. Her little voice in the head was no longer a little voice. It made Rowena’s arms and legs to nudge and cross and indicate all signs of irriration. “Just behave will you?, it will soon be over” she told her voice in her head whilst thinking of the song “I will survive”

Alas, after an hour and half, it was all over and the cotton was taken away from Rowena’s eyes. But the funny thing was when she opened her eyes she felt so sloppy and almost as if she was trying to wake up from sleep or snap of out from some day dreaming session.

She asked for extra tissues to just clean her eyes more and more so she could see better. It felt as if her eyes were deeply sunk in some fancy spa. Finally, it was done! Rowena was pleased that despite the torement her the little voice in her head had put her through she looked lush her skin kept screaming “Thank you”. She thanked her beautician and walked off.

Sometimes in life, the most anticiapted moments can actually become a pain; for someone who has forgotten to just unwind and chill such little luxuries can actually be tormenting.

The End-

Chasing Time

We all have dreams big or small, simple or complicated – still they are all dreams

We all have goals we would like to acheive in our life time

Whether pratical or not some even unrealistic in the eyes of others

It doesnt matter what others think or say about your dreams and goals

It is upto to you to work at it and reach out!

For someone us who have been trying to do so all our lives

A year or two, a decade or more has just by  with time

It now feels like we are chasing time as we are running out of time

It looks just like the grass and plants that wither over time!

Think or Feel

So you think I what is feel is what I think

How silly of you to come to a conclusion as this

You ought to know by now more about me

My experiences are more of what I feel than think

Next time you make your silly jokes about 

Things that matter to me and close to my heart

Ask yourself more than once if you have to

If what you think and say would make me feel any better

You may not have dreams but I happen to do so!

Would I cry for you?

All this talk about death, graves and cemeteries has got me thinking of a little conversation I heard among two people.

“Would you cry for me at my death?” one asked the other

“Yes” was the simple but authentic answer

“Seriously.. lol” was the response of the person who questioned

Why is it so hard to believe that she would cry for you?

 

You may have done her all the wrong unimaginable

But did you forget that she is a rare gem with a big heart?

The kind that empathizes even with her worst of enemies

Yes ofcourse she would cry if she ever outlived you

 

Not everyone in this world is able to forget the past and move on

There’s so much preaching about forgiveness, none on forgetting

Its not the easiest thing to do when you’ve been ripped your heart open

For all to see what you were really believing and hoping for – the lie

But nevermind that time is long gone now, just a bad dream she says

 

It is not easy when the people who hurt you the most

Are none other than the ones you love the most

But end of the day with all said and done and some undone

Yes indeed someone will cry for you when you are gone

Becuase you made thier life a little bit more colourful end of the day!

Photograph by: Prexels

 

 

Girl, You are Unique

You are unique and there is none quite like you; you may have a sibling who might look just like you, everyone might say you look like your mother etc, but, that does not mean you are your grandmother, mother, aunt, sister or friend.

Girl, You are Unique!

You are you and that is how God has created you with much care and love! Even if deny the existence of a creative God, please read on as you may find some useful tips.

Growing up, I was at times considered as a weird child who always wished for one-of-a- kind of things from clothes to shoes and even stationery I couldn’t bear the thought of wanting to dress and be like someone else (this excludes certain role models I had in my life) I had the practice of observing others and then absorbing what was best for myself. I remember, how I would not too happy if someone copied my unique style of clothing or the way I did things.

From a very early age as young as 5 years, I knew and believed that no one had the same fingerprints as me and I wanted to maintain my sense of uniqueness and identity as much as I could. But, I had problems! Teachers thought I was selfish, parents thought I was stubborn, friends thought I was weird.

What am I trying to say here?

Girls, be yourselves not matter what you think of yourselves, especially if you think you are not in par with other girls and feel that you are not in the zone!

Growing up wanting to be loved and accepted is a basic human need but with little or no tangible real love prevailing in the world, you are expecting too much trying to depend on others to receive love and specialization. Especially, if you must lose yourself and be someone else to be loved!

Why am I saying this?

Its because, I too at a certain phase in my life compromised trying to be everything ‘other than myself’ to be accepted in society and among peers; friends and family! To be what they wanted me to be, in order to be included in their circles.

I tell you, its not worth even the try, because once you have been there and done that, you look back and wonder what you have become and what all those pretenses has done to your true identity.

You end up looking at the mirror as asking yourself ‘Who are you? I do not know you?”

Remember, Girl! You are unique and there has never been, or ever will be someone like you! You are unique!

Mr. Simpleton

Simpleton! Oh Mr. Simpleton in your simple ways

You can be so simple and humble in all your ways

Do you not get tired or being so simple and humble?

Oh dear! My love! Mr. Humble Lahm Simpleton

I might be a delightful genius in most my ways

That is how you think so of all poor Kittel’s ways

I tell you Mr. Simpleton I ain’t so genius in my ways

But yes, I may be just as delightful as you say!

Framed in Time

The sun will rise and set at its course everyday

So, will the moon and all galaxy in its place

Who am I to complain about the blues everyday

When am just a mere human in this vast space

Life’s’ ups and downs they come and go

Just as the seasons with sun and snow

Who am I to question the way life go

All streams from cliffs to sea they flow

King Solomon the wisest that there ever was

Did say of all this in this book Ecclesiastes

Our world its framed in Time they say

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