Tired

Tired of chasing after the lost
Tired of chasing pretty rainbows
Tired of self expectations
Tired of hoping for the best
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

Tired of being patient
Tired of being harassed
Tired of feeling rejected
Tired of feeling like a loser
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

When will this all end?
When will I truly live?
When will I see myself where I should be?
Other than feeling and being tired
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Stable

Since of late she gets a pounding from him with this word “stable”

She wipes her tears asking why he thinks she is “unstable”

He says “You are not stable. I need you to be stable.Unwavering”

“How can you say that I am wavering? especially when I am the stable one right now” she thinks to herself.

But she never utters a word. One day he would realize that she was the only stable thing in his life!

Live.Forever.Young

I don’t know about you but I am a huge fan of the pop music from the 80’s and this is one one those songs that will stay on with me for a long long time.

Forever Young by Alphaville.

I’ve not made any comments about the Band itself, to be honest I don’t follow them anymore. But this song has got me hooked on to it since my early teens back in the 90’s.

The lyrics of the song are wierd in a good way. Many may not connect with the lyrics but there is some truth to it.

My favourite verse:

Forever Young – Alphaville

Do check out the song. Try and listen without checking out the video. Read the lyrics too. The tune is vibrant but haunting.

Turning point

Lately, I’ve been thinking just as I have before

I didn’t want to know any one besides you

I chose to walk away, it was my decision

You let me act my choice and walked away

Decades gone by and both moved on with life

How nice to still strike a little conversation

With the one I dreamed of building my life with

We were just kids started off as good friends

Helping each other with teeenage years

What a fine man you have now become

Pure in heart yet sound in mind, faithful till the end

It was my turning point in life but I won’t go there

Its true that First Cut is the deepest nostalgic as it is

We all have our firsts and our turning point!

I am not the only One!

I know I am not the only one in this world to feel the way I do

My mind is like a production house with all kinds of concepts floating

Be it baking, photography, writing or travel thoughts overloading

All the time, sometimes I just cannot seem to be sleeping.

I know I am not the only one in this world to have these thoughts

Of breaking in to a vault at a bank to discover special expensive items

Its not about stealing or anything, its just about the planning and execution

Its a harsh thought I know, but times are tough my friend.

I know I am not the only one in this world to do what I do

Wanting to show such compassion to even the most cruel being

You may call that your enemey but I’d like to do something

To see that life transformed into something splendid.

I am not the only one whose ridden with feelings, thoughts and deeds

I know there is another you out there – somehwhere

So if that is you reading this post – please leave me note

Book Review : Meltdown

I enjoy reading all kinds and types of books from history to science fiction to fantasy, even documentary types. The Authors I enjoy vary from Stephen King, Arthur C. Clarke, Ben Elton to John Grisham.

Meltdown by Ben Elton really is a great read. It is a page turner with lots of humour, wit and ofcourse realtity.

I just finished reading it a few weeks ago and found it to be very timely, entertaining and obviously an eye opener. Going through a slightly similar situation faced by lead role Jimmy, about his unwise financial choices made such a big impact on the general wellbieng of himself and mostly his family of wife and 03 children.

The book is a great read  for those who want to relax end of the day with a good read with lots of serious and practical stuff in it. Seriously, you must give it a try as it was very entertaining and enjoyable to to core. I love the fact that it is sometimes subtle and otherwise very direct with plenty of sarcasm, the practical life of a married man with kids and a wife and all that jazz following his misfortunes. The sense of creativity that goes on his mind and his wife’s along with the ‘circle of friends’ that he grew up with.
It is hillarious at some points and some places I did have a tear or two.

So with all the ecnonomic crunch that most of us are experiencing, this is a great read to start of your 2019! Happy Reading!

Floating

Float away like a featherweight person into the thin air like a rocket
Gone away in to the into space and floating away like a water bubble

Fly away with me into the unknown into the supermassive black-hole
No will know that am just floating away in some other universe

Just floating … floating… floating

Take me places take me somewhere only we know somewhere in space
Places out of time and space and none of life that I know
Fly away with me into the universes light years away

Just floating… floating… Floating…

I’d listen to all my favourite songs of old up there somewhere we belong
I hope my music player does work so long in time and space
Fly away with me in to the stars and galaxies that shine so bright

Just floating.. floating.. floating…

Imagine no democracy!

What is this country turning out into? Planet of the Apes!

Party hopping Politicians are too few to count these days!
Money has become their god, so there is no conscious of doing the right thing. It’s all about the money.. money… money…

Corruption and malpractices in the Governance of a country only leads to one thing and one thing alone.. Killing its own people. The people who placed their trust and voted the “suitable” folk in to power to make the change, action justice and develop the nation.

it is pathetic and humilating to see ourselves on the map for something like this!

In a few years time, a general knowledge question would pop up in a quiz

Question : “What is the Country that had 02 Prime Ministers at the same time?”
Answer : “Sri Lanka”

Photograph : Prexel

 

Modern Slaves

Be it a trafficked migrant, a child labours, a housewife with an abusive husband, adult children who steal their parent’s pension, a wife whose hardworking employee who gets nothing of what she earns or vise versa.. I see modern slaves everywhere.

Slavery know no shapes sizes and forms; it is irrespective of age, gender, nationality, geography.

According to the Antislavery International

There are estimated 40.3 million people in modern slavery around the world.

  • 10 million children
  • 24.9 million people in forced labour
  • 15.4 million people in forced marriage
  • 4.8 million people in forced sexual exploitation

40.3 million is a lot of people and slavery at this day and age is a bigger deal than it was back in the day.

You’d expect humans to have advanced with technology and education but modern slavery has a subtle way in making itself known.

Forced to work, restrictions on freedom of movement,treated as commodity, abuse are a few terms in which you could describe the cruel circumstances of these victims. Some have been born into slavery, others with or without choice, due to negligence or even choice to merely survive.

I wonder how many of these modern slaves actually have the courage to live through their slavery as opposed to taking thier lives and ending the pain. It is a sad, grave situation I cannot even fathom.

There is so much talk about migration issues around the world with the super powers not wanting to address these issues in a humane way. After all they are protecting their borders. But the super powers are there not to just dominate the world in being rich and powerful, they are also accountable to bring in solutions to issues such as modern slavery to countries which are less developed, less privileged and deprived of resources and skills to tackle such a crucial issue.

There is no true freedom in this world. A citizenship of a country is almost a birthright to many. But how many out there wish they had the citizenship of a more developed country where they have resources and opportunities to grow, live and fulfill at least some of their dreams. It’s an unfair state!

And if you are a slave in the land you live in there is no getting out!No where to go!
We are all humans who deserve a good life with true freedom!

 

Another day in Paradise

When you are just about getting around a particular turn in your life with such determination and hope then comes in the royal politics of the country crashing at your door!

Honestly, I have tried everything under the sun to make this paradise island my home and to have some hope that we would get somewhere, somewhere down the line, things will work out for us Srilankans! Who was I kidding?

I generally do not like to talk about politics but the presi has just let down the trust of the people, us, the very people who voted him being the presi. He brings back the same man the people wanted out back as the prime. What a constitution? What a democracy?

Now, this country is at the brim of a meltdown beyond repair.

We’ve been through a civil war as old as I, have had some really bad racial and religious upheavals, lots of bloodshed in all forms.

What are we to now hope for? It is beyond repair. Do we have any more hope left to survive?

Life goes on as there is nothing left to be done! It’s just another day in Paradise!

Weekend Drama

So with the ongoing drama in my personal life, the country I live in just knows how to add a little bit more spice.

On Friday night, I was home alone watching a movie and then comes in a text message on my phone – a news alert to which I have subscribed.

The message reads that the former president of my country has been appointed as the new Prime Minister by the President himself!

I could not believe my eyes! but then again this nation has got free publicity for all kinds of wierd matters since of late so this was just another piece of those wierd news!

Well, today it has been made official and the new prime minister has taken office. Apparently to constitution allows the Presi to overthrow the current Prime and select a new one; especially an ex Presi – the one who has caused alot of drama at the time he was Presi!

I am not worried but deeply concerned about where this country is heading. The children will have to learn about this day in thier history lesssons.

Corruption and bribery is on the rise and I do hope that we dont end up in bribing people to get food on our tables.

Now, I honestly do not care what goes on this country!

There is no democracy nor justice anywhere these days! Time to call upon team justiceleague!

 

 

Facing Reality

So, I was inspired to write something after watching the movie – Girls Trip (2017)

Its all about the blings of life that makes us forget the real people who are there for us –  when we need someone the most!

Some friends will stick by you through the thick and thin whilst others for the fame
Facing reality in life is so much easier when you first learn to accept lifes’ game

Facing reality the raw and ugly truth is mostly always such a pain
Yet, it will save you a lot of tears and heartbreak and stregth gain

Learn not to live in self denial and petty love over others hearts
First love yourself a bit more before you go loving others hearts

Speak up at the right time before its too late to be heard
Its your own life that needs to be saved and not be marred

Its pointless comtemplating on putting new wine in old wine skin
Learn to move on and seize the moment, only for the moment and the moment’s gone

Be yourself and don’t go changing who you are
Whole universe will have, had and will have just “one you”!

 

Photograph: Pexles

Take me as I am

Inspired by Wyclef and Sharissa’s song  Take me as I am

In a world filled with promises so vast than the ocean

Dreams, ambitions and hopes as wide as the horizon

Lies, truth intermingled together sometimes grey

Who would really take you as you are?

Most often with so many things going on in our lives

We crave for love, not the emotion but the person love

You’d expect someone out there to just take you as you are

Despite your flaws mistakes complications and messes

We all need someone to take us as we are!

 

 

Love your enemy

This is a profound verse in the bible mentioned in the book of Proverbs 25:21

“If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he’s thirsty, bring him a drink”.

The following verse is even more interesting, found in Proverbs 25:22

“Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you.”

I just wonder how many out there have actually practiced the 1st verse and experienced the blessing in the 2nd verse.

The first is not the most natural thing a human could do to their enemy. The second only God can allow to happen in a human’s life.

I guess it speaks about the true freedom one would receive after being able to truly and unconditionally love their enemy.

 

Losing Hope

So I’ve heard that the last string someone holds on to their dear life, is Hope. If you have Hope you have the will to fight and the strength to go one. However, what do you say to someone whose at the brim of loosing Hope?

When they have tried all options which matter to them and it all seemed a miserable failure and there is no more to hold on to, not even Hope! That’s what I call loosing Hope.

And then someone else has said that Religion is a form of giving Hope. Firstly, I do not believe in the thing called “Religion”. I choose to define it as a Divine relationship.

Yet again, what do you tell someone who has this Divine relationship (the belief of something like a Religion known to the rest of world) but has severely failed in life – may be due to bad choices and listening to the wrong voices? No matter how faithful they have been to the cause and their belief in the Divine relationship – the truth is they have failed and not picked up from where they tripped. But tried really hard in every humanely possible way.

I honestly would not know how I could encourage someone in this situation. If you’ve read all the way upto the end of this post, it means you were interested in what was being said. Therefore, I request of you to please state your thoughts / views on same in the comments.

Thank You!

 

Soul Vs Spirit

It will always be a struggle for people like us here in this world

Just passing by in this transit point like some alien of the universe

My soul says “It is enough, No more of this.. just end it now. Give up!”

My Spirit says ” You are more than that, Trust me when I say that,

You’ve got more in you and you must persevere!”

I believe in the Spirit but I need my Soul to be intact

Soul and Spirit they war every moment of our lives

In our waking and in our sleeping there is no rest for Soul Vs Spirit

 

The Instant of everything

Thank you technology for making it possible, making it all instant

Everything is needed, provided and indulged in the instant

Work or play, even in the rest everything is indeed instant

Instant sleep, meetings, meals, deadlines, workouts and all sorts

The instant of everything

 

Blink of an eye, in a heart beat, flashest of the flashests

You see it, you want it, you’ve got it alright

Where oh! where arethe days of the not so instant

Timeless moments with no care in the world

Oh! how I miss the non-instant days of life

The not- so- instant of everything

 

Missing myself

I didn’t know what I was going to miss when I desired of getting back into the Corporate lifestyle with a desk job. Its been a little over a year and I cannot help but think to myself of the things I miss doing the most away from this all.

I miss watching flowers bloom, the dust in my fingers, planting something or the other. Photographing insects on plants, bugs and snails and other slimy things on plants. Butterflies and caterpillars on the citrus trees. I miss inspecting their ways and keeping myself fascinated.

I miss find my corners in all sorts of places to just indulge in a good read. An actual book that has pages to flip and bookmarks to include. I do miss that.

I miss experimenting ingredients and trying to make a dish I’ve tasted in Turkey or in England. Baking cakes and little things the way I like it. The sweetness to my taste and not as per the recipe.

I miss spending time learning to play a new song on the piano or the guitar. Some new tune in my head on to my fingers and then record it so I won’t forget them.

I miss writing sweet notes of surprises to the one I love and leaving them only to be found by him alone. And then enjoying the innocence in his smile when he finds them.

I miss my little time and space with my handwork. My little DIY projects sometimes gets messy but I do miss them.

I miss travelling places, meeting people, eating and drinking and treating my taste buds. I miss not being able to travel like before. Its what they say. When you have time you don’t have money and when you have money you don’t have time.

How I wish and pray for the life I once knew; full of laughter life and love!  My true identity of being who I am –  I miss myself.

 

Girl, You are Unique

You are unique and there is none quite like you; you may have a sibling who might look just like you, everyone might say you look like your mother etc, but, that does not mean you are your grandmother, mother, aunt, sister or friend.

Girl, You are Unique!

You are you and that is how God has created you with much care and love! Even if deny the existence of a creative God, please read on as you may find some useful tips.

Growing up, I was at times considered as a weird child who always wished for one-of-a- kind of things from clothes to shoes and even stationery I couldn’t bear the thought of wanting to dress and be like someone else (this excludes certain role models I had in my life) I had the practice of observing others and then absorbing what was best for myself. I remember, how I would not too happy if someone copied my unique style of clothing or the way I did things.

From a very early age as young as 5 years, I knew and believed that no one had the same fingerprints as me and I wanted to maintain my sense of uniqueness and identity as much as I could. But, I had problems! Teachers thought I was selfish, parents thought I was stubborn, friends thought I was weird.

What am I trying to say here?

Girls, be yourselves not matter what you think of yourselves, especially if you think you are not in par with other girls and feel that you are not in the zone!

Growing up wanting to be loved and accepted is a basic human need but with little or no tangible real love prevailing in the world, you are expecting too much trying to depend on others to receive love and specialization. Especially, if you must lose yourself and be someone else to be loved!

Why am I saying this?

Its because, I too at a certain phase in my life compromised trying to be everything ‘other than myself’ to be accepted in society and among peers; friends and family! To be what they wanted me to be, in order to be included in their circles.

I tell you, its not worth even the try, because once you have been there and done that, you look back and wonder what you have become and what all those pretenses has done to your true identity.

You end up looking at the mirror as asking yourself ‘Who are you? I do not know you?”

Remember, Girl! You are unique and there has never been, or ever will be someone like you! You are unique!

Power Games

Hello! Power hungry people how have you been this day?

Which poor soul is next in line on your list of destruction

Not with your guns and bombs, but with your harsh words

You need power, you desire it with all evil in your heart

We’ve come a long away and, yet we hunger and thirst

For more power to reign and rule the world!

Stayin’ alive has become all about the power games

Framed in Time

The sun will rise and set at its course everyday

So, will the moon and all galaxy in its place

Who am I to complain about the blues everyday

When am just a mere human in this vast space

Life’s’ ups and downs they come and go

Just as the seasons with sun and snow

Who am I to question the way life go

All streams from cliffs to sea they flow

King Solomon the wisest that there ever was

Did say of all this in this book Ecclesiastes

Our world its framed in Time they say

70 years of Independence in Sri Lanka

04th of February 2018 – Independence Day of Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka is celebrating its 70th Independence Day on 04th of February this year and as a Srilankan citizen whose lived since the 80’s I thought of penning some thoughts about what national independence truly means to me.

With receiving its Independence status after the British Monarchy in 1948, Sri Lanka then known as Ceylon had bloodshed in all other forms, devouring the lives of many who once lived here. The rivalry between ethnics within the country and the discrimination towards minority led Ceylon into a gruesome civil war for almost 30 years.

In my opinion, racism truly has its upper hand over the 22 million citizens of this island nation. Racism has also stemmed into religious upheaval during the past decades. I see no difference of being racially afflicted back in the early 90’s as a child in school, nor as an adult who’s now employed as a professional. Ethnic and religious differences are strongly rooted in our nation. Words are exchanged, comments are made, and if you happen to be the minority among the majority, you do have to live a few days here and there having to tolerate with what comes out from the majority. The least of the minority is afflicted the most with this “deeply unsettled yet peaceful on the surface” scenario in this country. Children are brought up the same way as they were in the 70’s and 80’s giving them a strong identity in their ethnic and religious roots, encouraging evil into little hearts. The perpetrators have no respect, nor do they even fathom the idea of ‘discrimination’ in any form.

And now, I move on to gender discrimination. As a female child, I grew up dreaming of being an astronaut, a scientist or soldier- a title that was ‘thought to be most suitable’ for that of a male child. Why was this? perhaps, I felt in my inmost being that women were treated less and that they too deserved to be an astronaut, a scientist or a soldier. (Maybe it was just put there in my spirit when I was born in to this world). I saw it in the behavior of the adults, the way women were treated in the societies which I grew up in. And then, I realized its not my upbringing, this mentality was not restricted to a particular society or a culture –  its global. And it was very normal for an island nation like Sri Lanka, to be so. Men rule the world!

As a Professional I see the need of women more than ever in the workplace. Where have all the qualified capable women in our society gone? They are in hiding in their homes taking care of their children, having other responsibilities or cleaning up someone else’s mess. This does not portray the God given female qualities that will benefit the economy of this country.

By now, you may picture me as a feminist. I am not! But, I feel for my sisters and friends have who are burdened with responsibilities of a woman. Flip the coin, and you will find women heading their households. The civil war has left behind too many women heading households. What they faced with during their lifetime, I do not know and cannot even imagine their frustrations in being the breadwinner of their homes.

Well, back to topic of Independence. Looking at life in general in Sri Lanka for the past 30 years, I mostly feel that we actually don’t have the kind of Independence that we desire or anticipate. We are merely celebrating the liberation from a monarchy – that’s a harsh statement, but I believe it’s the truth. We are still slaves to the very things we have created for ourselves, the religions, the cultures, the way of life etc.

Independence to me will be the day I experience true liberty in our Sri Lankan societies where cultures will have no barriers, religion nor ethnic roots will not interfere with true liberation and camaraderie. Women will be treated equally. Children will be loved and protected. Every child will attend school and have access to excellent basic education. Only Love can give us the kind of liberty we hope for!

This is what I call Independence. After all, we are humans and we were never created to live independent lives; but inter-dependent lives. We need Love! Sri Lanka May Love Find You!

“Let there be loved shared among us – Let there be love in our eyes

May now this love sweep this nation to arise

Give us a fresh understanding of love that is true

Let there be love shared among us – Let there be Love!” (Quote: from a song)

Pretense Pride and Intimidation

Pretense has two close friends Pride and Intimidation

Intimidation thrives on Pretense whenever she’s intimidated

Lo! Leading her to Pride for some assistance most instantly

Pride comes along with her nose up in the air to top it all up

How easy it is for man to allow these three to come along

In all their manipulative ways thoughts words and deeds

Poisoning slowly sinking into in the depths of the heart of man

Life will not be life…

Since my last blog it’s been 06 months since I’ve actually decided to pen something. I’ve had the thought of wanting to do it sooner; oh! how time flies.

Life will not be life, if not for the seasons –  filled with colours, aromas and flavours

Life will not be life, if not for the people – acquaintances, friendships; lifelong relationships

Life will not be life, if not for the experiences – some regretful and others refreshing

In all that Life continues to offer me –  I’ve learnt to embrace with love

Without “Love” –  where would I be right now!

 

 

 

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