Too much love

If someone says that they will never break your heart

Believe it only if you are ready for your heart to be broken

If someone says they cannot live without you

Believe only if you are prepared for a life without them

Love is not an emotion that you can contain

Its like a fire – You need just to right amount of flame

Too little will make you cold and too much will burn you

If you can, love with consistency and patience

Don’t love to the point where you will loose her

Don’t love to the point where he is your idol

Let love be a living link that binds and gives just enough

To survive in this wicked world!

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Second Chance

You make mistakes so do I
But how often do we give
Just one more chance
That Second Chance
You broke my heart so did I
How hard is it to forgive and forget
Just one more chance
That Second Chance
We have only just one life to live
I fear its the truth and nothing more
So don't be afraid to give and receive
That Second Chance in this life!

Can’t have enough

Photograph : Pexels

I just cant seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep starring at you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep watching you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I find ways to not like you

I just can’t seem to have enough you

No matter how much I don’t want to exist without you

No! No! I just can’t seem to have enough

Freedom + Forgiveness

I love you and I cannot forget you
Yes I have hurt you and destroyed you
You ought to know by now how I feel for you
If that won't move you then what will?
You've also hurt me and made me feel so low
I was mad at you once but then I let go
I realized that we hurt each other so much so
We let go of each other it was too much to go
Time heals they say but does it really do?
I am yet a prisoner begging for your mercy
If I forgave you why is it so hard for you too
Just call it quits and forgive me too
It's not easy when you're completely closed
To forgiveness and freedom above all
I was not ready to put matters at ease
We were both hurting and there was no peace
Perhaps life was good and you moved on
But then why would you not just let me know
Either way we still have somethings to talk
Sorry if this is too much for you to grasp

			

Hello August

Photograph :  Pexels

Hello August, you number eight the month of fall
Waiting to experience you in places with seasons
The orchestra of colors you bring out is fabulous
Many at home celebrate you in all sorts of ways

Hello August bring on the best you have for me
Give me something better than that from July
I will not speak of September but that’s in my heart
So come on make this month a memorable one

Surprise me!

Photograph : RosheyFotografie

Surprise me with intelligent little talk
Surprise me with a some handpicked flowers
Surprise me with your sarcasm and humor
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with some senseless stories
Surprise me with a handful of chocolates
Surprise me with a gift of memories
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with a handwritten letter
Surprise me with surprise party
Surprise me with just about anything
Surprise me with anything at all

The Rejection Game

“No” she said when she was conceived her your womb
“No” he said when he realized she was with child
The first glimpse of rejection you both introduced to her
But she forgives you both as that is something she must do
“You’re not able to do this”, “Don’t be silly you’ cant’
“Don’t”, “No”, “You can’t do that”, “Listen when we tell you”
These were the words you pushed down on her
She had no clue what life would unfold for her
Strict rules around the house with severe punishments 
She was so afraid of him, so much so, more than she should
She probably thought if he was like this God must be a tyrant
Fear was instilled even before she learn’t her A,B,C’s
Life went on this way until one fine day arrived someone new
A little baby boy - She looked at him and said “You’re my brother”
She adored him and loved him with every beat in her heart
Not knowing that she was on level 2 in the game of rejection
Time went by and the discrimination grew larger than life
“No, you can’t cos you are a girl”, “yes, he can. He’s a boy”
Bicycles were denied, Swimming lessons were denied
“Learn to play the piano” she was told so she did
Years kept going and she had no clue why her sexuality was a concern
She began to hate herself for being a girl & very soon a woman
Her mother never taught her anything about the ways of life
She did’t know whom to ask – She found things on her own
A few more years gone by and now she started questioning
They didn’t approve her questioning their authority
She was seen as a rebellious teenager- a difficult child
In her mind she was strong and loyal, a beautiful mind
She did everything she was asked to do and time flew by
Many things came and went by, in her colorful life
One day drew near when she had a revelation so true
All these memories of a miserable childhood she lived
The spirit within her rose up one fine day into new heights
All these questions she ever had about her life unraveled
In her heart she knew she was a lover, an adventurer, a dreamer
She had become that being - survival to fight rejection
The spirit within her told her after decades gone by
The secrets which was never told to her before
She knew at once she was not wanted or needed
By the ones that birthed her and gave her life
She was perhaps not the boy child they wanted
She was perhaps conceived when they were not ready
Yet the first rules out the latter as she learns
That even if she was the fifth she would still be rejected
She yearns to find out from her that gave her birth
But she has enough wisdom not to do so as she’d want
Rejection is such a powerful force in life she knows
She realized that rejection = hate and there is no way out
To all who have been rejected at some point in your life
Just know that one may reject you but another will love you
For who you are and what you are and what you have become
Love covers all and only love from the heart can make you whole
Forgive, Hard to forget its true but try and Move On
We have only one life to live here on earth so make it count
Game Over - Rejection!

Thankful

Thank you for rescuing me from messes almost made
Thank you for always giving me a way out for escape
Thank you for silently watching over me all the time
Even when I don't deserve your love or attention
Thank you for that still small voice always guiding me
Thank you for the burden that's made light for me
Thank you for sending prompts of all sorts to me
For changing my direction every time I made it wrong
Thank you for the angels that always keeps on guard
Thank you for the strangers that come for my rescue
Thank you for giving me a big heart to love the least
For keeping my spirit away from all ill of this world
Thank you for the food on my table everyday
Thank you for shelter and roof upon my head
Thank you for friends and foe both alike
If not for trials I'd not be where I should be
Thank you for the many talents I have
Thank you for the ambitious dreams I have
Thank you for the hope of something eternal
Something to look forward on the other side

Farewell

Photograph by Pixel

I bid thee farewell oh lover from yesterday

I bid thee farewell oh worries of tomorrow

I bid thee farewell oh memories of old

I bid thee farewell oh dreams of gold

I bid thee farewell oh sadness and sorrow

I bid thee farewell oh joys to follow

I bid thee farewell. Oh! I bid thee farewell.

Tired

Tired of chasing after the lost
Tired of chasing pretty rainbows
Tired of self expectations
Tired of hoping for the best
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

Tired of being patient
Tired of being harassed
Tired of feeling rejected
Tired of feeling like a loser
Just Tired, Tired, Tired

When will this all end?
When will I truly live?
When will I see myself where I should be?
Other than feeling and being tired

To be or not to be?

Life throws all kinds of challenges that we face each day
To be or not to be is a question in every man’s way
It’s a choice we all have to make each day
No matter the outcome or what come may
Should I write to him or not?
Will she get offended if I tell her off?
Should I call off this thing that I have with her?
Will he understand if I said what I said?
Should I continue in this abusive relationship?
Or should I just walk away and leave him behind?
W ill she understand if I left her cos I can’t take no more?
Or should I just zip it up and bear it a bit longer?
Is this love we have really getting us somewhere?
Its become dull and boring, how long must I stay?
Should I help my friend who plans to this crazy thing?
Or should I just let him deal with his own messes?

To be or not to be? – that is the question! ” – WS

It is a question for each day!

Living in a bubble

Life has it is to many has its own ups and downs. Some have more strength to cope with pressures of life than some others. This does not make the former greater than the latter nor the latter more incapable than the former.

No two lives are the same and there is no ‘one solution’ which can resolve similar problems. Each one’s problem is unique, so must the solution be.

When others state that you are living in your bubble and not aware of the World outside, it may not be true, all the time. Sometimes, few of us choose to live in a bubble to safeguard ourselves from further harm and criticism.

Living in a bubble is not meant for everyone nor is it the best solution for all lifes problems. Some of us who are social butterflies when restricted to a bubble may not survive for too long. But then again, you may say it is by choice.

Not everyone has the choice of living in a bubble. You may succumb to situations and circumstances in life that directs you in to your bubble. It is a rather unpleasant forcible act which is beyond your liking or control.

To some of us, our bubble is are safe house, our cocoon. And no matter what the external factors say or think of us, we may not want to move out of our bubble until we feel its safe. But how would we know if it is safe at all?

Living in a bubble is a rather challenging. It may preserve us or it may destroy us. But who are we to know which is the best option. We must take a risk and see if it works out or not!

Like I said living in a bubble is not for everyone! Let the bubble you live in drift away to some place safe!

That Smile

Her smile was something he fell in love with

He said it was the smile that changed his life

Her smile which was genuine and warm

Put all his worries and cares far behind

That smile he’d say can melt the hardest of hearts

Her spirit was free and her heart so ever big

Perhaps so easy for someone like her to smile away

Even when everyone of us were falling apart

I wish I could have that kind of a spirit

To smile my cares away for good

I’d ask her to teach me to smile that way

I’d like to make that smile a part of mine

The little ones

Two categories of humans whom I enjoy spending time with are those that are children and others who are elders. decades older and younger than I.

I feel there is quite a lot to learn from children. They are:

  • Carefree
  • Energetic
  • Imaginative
  • Innocent
They live in the moment and have not a care in the world! Their imagination knows no boundaries. They can be super creative and always have solutions to problems. They love unconditionally. If only we spent more time with the little ones will we understand that the world is not such a complicated place.

			

The Heat is on…

Its that time of the year where we have this phase of heatwaves with unbearable hot temperatures, random water & power cuts. Lovely isn’t it for a paradise island. We have to expect heatwaves given that we are stationed so close to the equator – Duh!

Colombo has not seen a drop of rain for some time now, but I hear news from the hills that it rains for hours and hours. Still, we did have water cuts this time around too and the usual power cuts.

So, the heat is on and that means the sun is out and why have we not harvested in its power? Is this some sort of a mismanagement, political drive or pure ignorance? I do have the answers in my mind but I’d like to keep it that way as I feel like somebody’s watching me 😀

For many years, issues such as severe droughts and floods have prevailed in Sri Lanka and its become an annual occurrence. If that is the case, why are there not enough preventive measure to tackle these issues without implementing reactive measures such as power and water cuts? When will we become a proactive nation? I’d like to live long to see that day when we are self-sufficient in managing these relatively smaller issues.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining about not having water nor electricity for a few hours of the day even on a daily basis. There are many nations in this world without clean water to drink and without any form of electricity. These are larger issues of the world – The bigger picture!

I am addressing about being proactive and managing what we already have. I am talking about mismanagement and being a bad steward. We are a small nation and comparatively quite a sufficient nation with many blessings due to our size and geographical positioning. But, how is it that we still have not got our act together? Even without droughts, there are citizens in Sri Lanka who don’t have sanitation.

Something needs to happen for us to shift from this mentality we live with right now. Let’s at least try to be proactive and be better at managing what we already have!

Photograph by Pexel

Red Backpack

She put all her dreams and hopes – her heart soul and mind

A little red backpack – she puts everything she’s got

Into your hands she places that red backpack one day

Trusting you to take care, guard and love all the way

You took the little red backpack and its belongings

Like toys you played and tossed them away

Lost all that was in the backpack with your games

Gone for far too long and in hiding you remained

She asked for it back one day so she could move on

And all you had to tell her were little white lies

She kept asking and asking as doubts started to multiply

Something was not right she begged for whats hers

You returned the red backpack to her one day

With nothing worthwhile just a backpack full of lies

Every time she looked in her backpack for whats hers

Her heart, soul, mind, dreams hopes and herself

Remains now regrets remorse and an emptiness so old

The little red backpack is now nothing but mere rubbish

Red backpack with dust now worn out and torn

She dumps its in the Dump truck for good its gone

The Pumpkin Issue

The country I come from has an ancient rich heritage of Agriculture. The ancient kings of Sri Lanka leaves enough evidence for us to know how much effort was put into agriculture with its irrigation methods.

But with centuries gone by, little do we see that has been done to take agriculture to the next level. Technology has advanced but not the Agriculture industry in Sri Lanka. Hence, the Pumpkin issue!

Recently many governmental and non-governmental departments came together to promote sales and to relieve the pumpkin farmers of their excess produce. Approximately 100,000Kg with the price tag of a
a measly Rs. 100/-. per pumpkin at a pumpkin street sale.
It is a good endeavor !

However, has no one thought of tackling this pumpkin issue in a more proactive manner. it is not just pumpkin farmers that face these issues. Take a walk in the hill country of Sri Lanka and you will see that many farmers just let carrots, beets, leeks, cabbages, raddish to rot in their fields as they could not sell it for a decent price and the middle man always has the upper hand with pricing. What a waste!

Recently, a minister states that eating pumpkin enhances the beauty of women. Seriously, is this how one we tackle agriculture related issues in Sri Lanka?

How come these pumpkin farmers are not able to sell their crop for a decent pay? Is it not worth their toil and labor? How come their general quality of life has not developed? Why are there no services to educate the general public about by- products of the pumpkin nor its value additions.

Pumpkins are such a good and healthy source for our diet in many ways. It could be preserved, made into soup, could be used as pureed pumpkin and a thickening agent for various dishes. Then there is pumpkin as desserts and could easily be used as a form of a sweetened drink. Think about the pumpkin seeds.

May be some folks are already making some business out of what I’ve mentioned above. But why are the farmers not educated and equipped on these? Is it because we have become a lazy generation, wanting the quickest of the solutions to such problems and the instant solutions for everything.

There are countries which would die for pumpkins and here we have it go it waste. What a shame!

I seriously hope that the people at the top who have the authority, power and access to funding would seriously save this country from the pathetic agricultural frail and look in to more sustainable farming and agri bio technology methodologies to tackle issues in a non-reactive manner. We need to close the disparity gap and elevate the life of the general farmer. After all they bring us some food to our table!

Stable

Since of late she gets a pounding from him with this word “stable”

She wipes her tears asking why he thinks she is “unstable”

He says “You are not stable. I need you to be stable.Unwavering”

“How can you say that I am wavering? especially when I am the stable one right now” she thinks to herself.

But she never utters a word. One day he would realize that she was the only stable thing in his life!

Live.Forever.Young

I don’t know about you but I am a huge fan of the pop music from the 80’s and this is one one those songs that will stay on with me for a long long time.

Forever Young by Alphaville.

I’ve not made any comments about the Band itself, to be honest I don’t follow them anymore. But this song has got me hooked on to it since my early teens back in the 90’s.

The lyrics of the song are wierd in a good way. Many may not connect with the lyrics but there is some truth to it.

My favourite verse:

Forever Young – Alphaville

Do check out the song. Try and listen without checking out the video. Read the lyrics too. The tune is vibrant but haunting.

25th of January 2019

So it’s the last Friday of the first month of the year

Next Friday will be a whole new month to follow

Looking back at this month I am grateful for many

Who put a smile on my face and wiped of my tears

I would not have made through this month if not for you

When its a struggle to live life like you are supposed to

Some will know what exactly I am on about

Little words of encouragement and thoughts of kindness

Were the the only gestures that have kept me going

So thank you! For seeing me through to 25th January 2019!

Turning point

Lately, I’ve been thinking just as I have before

I didn’t want to know any one besides you

I chose to walk away, it was my decision

You let me act my choice and walked away

Decades gone by and both moved on with life

How nice to still strike a little conversation

With the one I dreamed of building my life with

We were just kids started off as good friends

Helping each other with teeenage years

What a fine man you have now become

Pure in heart yet sound in mind, faithful till the end

It was my turning point in life but I won’t go there

Its true that First Cut is the deepest nostalgic as it is

We all have our firsts and our turning point!

The Facial

So the story goes that this woman in her late 30’s decided to get a facial afer quite some time. Rowena has been having it on her list, but since of late she has been resticted in her spending due to other family financial responsibilities.

She walks into the salon where she had made an appointment for 1730hours, she managed to pop in to her home after work for a quick refresh and got to the salon just in time.

The receptionist directs her to the beautician. Rowena is excited at the thought of this pamper for the next hour or more. So the beautician starts the stadard process of cleaning up Rowena’s face and neck and then steaming. During this time, Rowena’s little voice in her head starts becoming louder ” Hey, are you sure that your face should be steamed for so long? Should you not cough or make it known that you have been left here with the steamer in your face”. Oh well, Rowena shut the voice in her head off for a while and tried to just relax and enjoy.

After applying further more creams and cleansers etc the steamer is again shoved in her face. Now this time, the tiny voice in Rowena’s head grew incredibly loud making her sigh and irritant. Rowena tried to keep it under control. Due to a recent neck sprain the seating position where the next was resting on a chair which almost remminded her that of the dentist chair was begnning to really play socks her mind.

There was absolutely not a hum from the beauticuan as she carried on with her routine in getting this facial done for her client. Rowena, wanting to be polite simply kept quiet but wanted to know how long more untill this was all over so she could just go home.

At one point the therapy felt so good that Rowena slightly dozed off and then when awake all that was in her mind was ” I just wanna leave” It was painstaking and very loud. Her little voice in the head was no longer a little voice. It made Rowena’s arms and legs to nudge and cross and indicate all signs of irriration. “Just behave will you?, it will soon be over” she told her voice in her head whilst thinking of the song “I will survive”

Alas, after an hour and half, it was all over and the cotton was taken away from Rowena’s eyes. But the funny thing was when she opened her eyes she felt so sloppy and almost as if she was trying to wake up from sleep or snap of out from some day dreaming session.

She asked for extra tissues to just clean her eyes more and more so she could see better. It felt as if her eyes were deeply sunk in some fancy spa. Finally, it was done! Rowena was pleased that despite the torement her the little voice in her head had put her through she looked lush her skin kept screaming “Thank you”. She thanked her beautician and walked off.

Sometimes in life, the most anticiapted moments can actually become a pain; for someone who has forgotten to just unwind and chill such little luxuries can actually be tormenting.

The End-

Tea with Duran Duran

If there is a place in streets of Fort, Colombo that makes me very nostalgic, I would say it is the Pagoda Tea Room at Chatham Street.

I guess it is my love towards the 80’s band Duran Duran; a great British band from Brummy.

Though I was exposed to thier music in the 80’s as a child and an early teen I was completely oblivious and ignorant to not know that the great footage from thier music video Hungry Like TheWolf was filmed mainly this is quaint tea room and surrounding streets of Fort, Colombo.

My British boss mentioned this to me back in 2010 but I did nothing to discover this place untill my husband-to-be at the time invited me here for a cuppa tea – According to Jude, the cupa tea served here along with an eclair or the infamouse pineapple gateau slice is heavenly. Few things we have in common is our sweet tooth. So, somewhere in 2012, I did actually made it to this place and I just felt so nostalgic. Hungry Like The Wolf just played in my head a million times.

To make things all the more interesting, we meet this server who as actually been working at this tea room at the time Duran Duran filmed the music video. So he said ” Ah ofcourse, I was just a young lad when Dooran Dooran was here”. So immediately we made a connection; I connected with this place so much since then.

During the years we enjoyed many lunch and tea times with just ourselves or with a friend or two never failing to tell the story of this place and at times wondered if Duran Duran would want to pay a visit here.

Time passes by and this is 2019. With my work in very close proximity to this tea house I always manage to escape and spend some time here to enjoy some snacks and bask in my nostalgic moment. Sadly, the delicious rice and curry is no longer served but as take away packs. The traditional tea has been replaced with machine made instant teas.

Tourists and locals alike make the best of this place today. I’ve even witnessed interviews and work meetings take place at the Pagoda Tea Room. I guess it has become somewhat of a cosy comfy hangout for many in the area may it be shopping, commuting or working.

Depsite the many changes that has taken place over the years, I believe as a Duran Duran fan, I will always cherish this tea room and have that strong connection for as long as I live.

To me it will always be a nostalgic memory that I have created in my head about having tea with Duran Duran whilst they prepared themselves for the music video Hungry Like The Wolf, which happens to be one of my favorite songs, espcially the rendition by David Cook champion of Americal Idol Season 7. A hint to my favourite things.

Cheers to Duran Duran!

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