I’m learning to Fly!

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Freedom + Forgiveness

I love you and I cannot forget you
Yes I have hurt you and destroyed you
You ought to know by now how I feel for you
If that won't move you then what will?
You've also hurt me and made me feel so low
I was mad at you once but then I let go
I realized that we hurt each other so much so
We let go of each other it was too much to go
Time heals they say but does it really do?
I am yet a prisoner begging for your mercy
If I forgave you why is it so hard for you too
Just call it quits and forgive me too
It's not easy when you're completely closed
To forgiveness and freedom above all
I was not ready to put matters at ease
We were both hurting and there was no peace
Perhaps life was good and you moved on
But then why would you not just let me know
Either way we still have somethings to talk
Sorry if this is too much for you to grasp

The Rejection Game

“No” she said when she was conceived her your womb
“No” he said when he realized she was with child
The first glimpse of rejection you both introduced to her
But she forgives you both as that is something she must do
“You’re not able to do this”, “Don’t be silly you’ cant’
“Don’t”, “No”, “You can’t do that”, “Listen when we tell you”
These were the words you pushed down on her
She had no clue what life would unfold for her
Strict rules around the house with severe punishments 
She was so afraid of him, so much so, more than she should
She probably thought if he was like this God must be a tyrant
Fear was instilled even before she learn’t her A,B,C’s
Life went on this way until one fine day arrived someone new
A little baby boy - She looked at him and said “You’re my brother”
She adored him and loved him with every beat in her heart
Not knowing that she was on level 2 in the game of rejection
Time went by and the discrimination grew larger than life
“No, you can’t cos you are a girl”, “yes, he can. He’s a boy”
Bicycles were denied, Swimming lessons were denied
“Learn to play the piano” she was told so she did
Years kept going and she had no clue why her sexuality was a concern
She began to hate herself for being a girl & very soon a woman
Her mother never taught her anything about the ways of life
She did’t know whom to ask – She found things on her own
A few more years gone by and now she started questioning
They didn’t approve her questioning their authority
She was seen as a rebellious teenager- a difficult child
In her mind she was strong and loyal, a beautiful mind
She did everything she was asked to do and time flew by
Many things came and went by, in her colorful life
One day drew near when she had a revelation so true
All these memories of a miserable childhood she lived
The spirit within her rose up one fine day into new heights
All these questions she ever had about her life unraveled
In her heart she knew she was a lover, an adventurer, a dreamer
She had become that being - survival to fight rejection
The spirit within her told her after decades gone by
The secrets which was never told to her before
She knew at once she was not wanted or needed
By the ones that birthed her and gave her life
She was perhaps not the boy child they wanted
She was perhaps conceived when they were not ready
Yet the first rules out the latter as she learns
That even if she was the fifth she would still be rejected
She yearns to find out from her that gave her birth
But she has enough wisdom not to do so as she’d want
Rejection is such a powerful force in life she knows
She realized that rejection = hate and there is no way out
To all who have been rejected at some point in your life
Just know that one may reject you but another will love you
For who you are and what you are and what you have become
Love covers all and only love from the heart can make you whole
Forgive, Hard to forget its true but try and Move On
We have only one life to live here on earth so make it count
Game Over - Rejection!

Farewell

Photograph by Pixel

I bid thee farewell oh lover from yesterday

I bid thee farewell oh worries of tomorrow

I bid thee farewell oh memories of old

I bid thee farewell oh dreams of gold

I bid thee farewell oh sadness and sorrow

I bid thee farewell oh joys to follow

I bid thee farewell. Oh! I bid thee farewell.

The Thorns

As it states in the parable of the sower, I’ve pondered a little further on the area where the seeds fell among the thorns.

The thorns depicts the anxiety, worries, cares, riches and pleasures of life. The seeds that fell among the thorns did take root and grow to a certain extent. Unlike the ones that fell by the way side or on the rocky ground, we know that these seeds did burst into life. young saplings. However, it could grow only for a certain time.

I suppose there are only 02 ways that such a plant could survive.

  1. The plant has to be strong enough to outgrow the thorns.
  2. The thorns should be removed by an external force.

I’d start with the latter, where it would be the easiest thing to do. Somehow the thorns should be removed or at least trimmed off by an external source. This would assist the plant to outgrow the thorns to a certain extent. Depending on the type of plant which would grow into a tree the thorns will become insignificant over time.

Looking at the first option, I find it hard to see how this could happen. The plant would require adequate personal space to grow, expand its branches etc. I’d like think that the thorns could be a blessing for a while where it may protect the sapling of strong winds and extreme weather. But then again, the thorns may prick and damage the young plant contributing to its slow death.

Looking at the options available by my limited human thinking capacity, I am led to believe this;

That if an external source does not contribute towards destroying the thorns or uprooting the plant from its current context and replanting the sapling, it would seem impossible for the young plant to survive among the thorns – ultimately leading it to death.

The Facial

So the story goes that this woman in her late 30’s decided to get a facial afer quite some time. Rowena has been having it on her list, but since of late she has been resticted in her spending due to other family financial responsibilities.

She walks into the salon where she had made an appointment for 1730hours, she managed to pop in to her home after work for a quick refresh and got to the salon just in time.

The receptionist directs her to the beautician. Rowena is excited at the thought of this pamper for the next hour or more. So the beautician starts the stadard process of cleaning up Rowena’s face and neck and then steaming. During this time, Rowena’s little voice in her head starts becoming louder ” Hey, are you sure that your face should be steamed for so long? Should you not cough or make it known that you have been left here with the steamer in your face”. Oh well, Rowena shut the voice in her head off for a while and tried to just relax and enjoy.

After applying further more creams and cleansers etc the steamer is again shoved in her face. Now this time, the tiny voice in Rowena’s head grew incredibly loud making her sigh and irritant. Rowena tried to keep it under control. Due to a recent neck sprain the seating position where the next was resting on a chair which almost remminded her that of the dentist chair was begnning to really play socks her mind.

There was absolutely not a hum from the beauticuan as she carried on with her routine in getting this facial done for her client. Rowena, wanting to be polite simply kept quiet but wanted to know how long more untill this was all over so she could just go home.

At one point the therapy felt so good that Rowena slightly dozed off and then when awake all that was in her mind was ” I just wanna leave” It was painstaking and very loud. Her little voice in the head was no longer a little voice. It made Rowena’s arms and legs to nudge and cross and indicate all signs of irriration. “Just behave will you?, it will soon be over” she told her voice in her head whilst thinking of the song “I will survive”

Alas, after an hour and half, it was all over and the cotton was taken away from Rowena’s eyes. But the funny thing was when she opened her eyes she felt so sloppy and almost as if she was trying to wake up from sleep or snap of out from some day dreaming session.

She asked for extra tissues to just clean her eyes more and more so she could see better. It felt as if her eyes were deeply sunk in some fancy spa. Finally, it was done! Rowena was pleased that despite the torement her the little voice in her head had put her through she looked lush her skin kept screaming “Thank you”. She thanked her beautician and walked off.

Sometimes in life, the most anticiapted moments can actually become a pain; for someone who has forgotten to just unwind and chill such little luxuries can actually be tormenting.

The End-

Girl, You are Unique

You are unique and there is none quite like you; you may have a sibling who might look just like you, everyone might say you look like your mother etc, but, that does not mean you are your grandmother, mother, aunt, sister or friend.

Girl, You are Unique!

You are you and that is how God has created you with much care and love! Even if deny the existence of a creative God, please read on as you may find some useful tips.

Growing up, I was at times considered as a weird child who always wished for one-of-a- kind of things from clothes to shoes and even stationery I couldn’t bear the thought of wanting to dress and be like someone else (this excludes certain role models I had in my life) I had the practice of observing others and then absorbing what was best for myself. I remember, how I would not too happy if someone copied my unique style of clothing or the way I did things.

From a very early age as young as 5 years, I knew and believed that no one had the same fingerprints as me and I wanted to maintain my sense of uniqueness and identity as much as I could. But, I had problems! Teachers thought I was selfish, parents thought I was stubborn, friends thought I was weird.

What am I trying to say here?

Girls, be yourselves not matter what you think of yourselves, especially if you think you are not in par with other girls and feel that you are not in the zone!

Growing up wanting to be loved and accepted is a basic human need but with little or no tangible real love prevailing in the world, you are expecting too much trying to depend on others to receive love and specialization. Especially, if you must lose yourself and be someone else to be loved!

Why am I saying this?

Its because, I too at a certain phase in my life compromised trying to be everything ‘other than myself’ to be accepted in society and among peers; friends and family! To be what they wanted me to be, in order to be included in their circles.

I tell you, its not worth even the try, because once you have been there and done that, you look back and wonder what you have become and what all those pretenses has done to your true identity.

You end up looking at the mirror as asking yourself ‘Who are you? I do not know you?”

Remember, Girl! You are unique and there has never been, or ever will be someone like you! You are unique!

Power Games

Hello! Power hungry people how have you been this day?

Which poor soul is next in line on your list of destruction

Not with your guns and bombs, but with your harsh words

You need power, you desire it with all evil in your heart

We’ve come a long away and, yet we hunger and thirst

For more power to reign and rule the world!

Stayin’ alive has become all about the power games

Pretense Pride and Intimidation

Pretense has two close friends Pride and Intimidation

Intimidation thrives on Pretense whenever she’s intimidated

Lo! Leading her to Pride for some assistance most instantly

Pride comes along with her nose up in the air to top it all up

How easy it is for man to allow these three to come along

In all their manipulative ways thoughts words and deeds

Poisoning slowly sinking into in the depths of the heart of man

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