Indefinitely

I love this word “indefinitely” and to me its almost as same as “eternity” and when I think about “indefinitely” the only song that comes to my mind is this great song by Mariah Carey Always be my baby

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Can’t have enough

Photograph : Pexels

I just cant seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep starring at you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I keep watching you

I just can’t seem to have enough of you

No matter how much I find ways to not like you

I just can’t seem to have enough you

No matter how much I don’t want to exist without you

No! No! I just can’t seem to have enough

Freedom + Forgiveness

I love you and I cannot forget you
Yes I have hurt you and destroyed you
You ought to know by now how I feel for you
If that won't move you then what will?
You've also hurt me and made me feel so low
I was mad at you once but then I let go
I realized that we hurt each other so much so
We let go of each other it was too much to go
Time heals they say but does it really do?
I am yet a prisoner begging for your mercy
If I forgave you why is it so hard for you too
Just call it quits and forgive me too
It's not easy when you're completely closed
To forgiveness and freedom above all
I was not ready to put matters at ease
We were both hurting and there was no peace
Perhaps life was good and you moved on
But then why would you not just let me know
Either way we still have somethings to talk
Sorry if this is too much for you to grasp

			

Hello August

Photograph :  Pexels

Hello August, you number eight the month of fall
Waiting to experience you in places with seasons
The orchestra of colors you bring out is fabulous
Many at home celebrate you in all sorts of ways

Hello August bring on the best you have for me
Give me something better than that from July
I will not speak of September but that’s in my heart
So come on make this month a memorable one

Surprise me!

Photograph : RosheyFotografie

Surprise me with intelligent little talk
Surprise me with a some handpicked flowers
Surprise me with your sarcasm and humor
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with some senseless stories
Surprise me with a handful of chocolates
Surprise me with a gift of memories
Surprise me with anything at all

Surprise me with a handwritten letter
Surprise me with surprise party
Surprise me with just about anything
Surprise me with anything at all

The Rejection Game

“No” she said when she was conceived her your womb
“No” he said when he realized she was with child
The first glimpse of rejection you both introduced to her
But she forgives you both as that is something she must do
“You’re not able to do this”, “Don’t be silly you’ cant’
“Don’t”, “No”, “You can’t do that”, “Listen when we tell you”
These were the words you pushed down on her
She had no clue what life would unfold for her
Strict rules around the house with severe punishments 
She was so afraid of him, so much so, more than she should
She probably thought if he was like this God must be a tyrant
Fear was instilled even before she learn’t her A,B,C’s
Life went on this way until one fine day arrived someone new
A little baby boy - She looked at him and said “You’re my brother”
She adored him and loved him with every beat in her heart
Not knowing that she was on level 2 in the game of rejection
Time went by and the discrimination grew larger than life
“No, you can’t cos you are a girl”, “yes, he can. He’s a boy”
Bicycles were denied, Swimming lessons were denied
“Learn to play the piano” she was told so she did
Years kept going and she had no clue why her sexuality was a concern
She began to hate herself for being a girl & very soon a woman
Her mother never taught her anything about the ways of life
She did’t know whom to ask – She found things on her own
A few more years gone by and now she started questioning
They didn’t approve her questioning their authority
She was seen as a rebellious teenager- a difficult child
In her mind she was strong and loyal, a beautiful mind
She did everything she was asked to do and time flew by
Many things came and went by, in her colorful life
One day drew near when she had a revelation so true
All these memories of a miserable childhood she lived
The spirit within her rose up one fine day into new heights
All these questions she ever had about her life unraveled
In her heart she knew she was a lover, an adventurer, a dreamer
She had become that being - survival to fight rejection
The spirit within her told her after decades gone by
The secrets which was never told to her before
She knew at once she was not wanted or needed
By the ones that birthed her and gave her life
She was perhaps not the boy child they wanted
She was perhaps conceived when they were not ready
Yet the first rules out the latter as she learns
That even if she was the fifth she would still be rejected
She yearns to find out from her that gave her birth
But she has enough wisdom not to do so as she’d want
Rejection is such a powerful force in life she knows
She realized that rejection = hate and there is no way out
To all who have been rejected at some point in your life
Just know that one may reject you but another will love you
For who you are and what you are and what you have become
Love covers all and only love from the heart can make you whole
Forgive, Hard to forget its true but try and Move On
We have only one life to live here on earth so make it count
Game Over - Rejection!

Thankful

Thank you for rescuing me from messes almost made
Thank you for always giving me a way out for escape
Thank you for silently watching over me all the time
Even when I don't deserve your love or attention
Thank you for that still small voice always guiding me
Thank you for the burden that's made light for me
Thank you for sending prompts of all sorts to me
For changing my direction every time I made it wrong
Thank you for the angels that always keeps on guard
Thank you for the strangers that come for my rescue
Thank you for giving me a big heart to love the least
For keeping my spirit away from all ill of this world
Thank you for the food on my table everyday
Thank you for shelter and roof upon my head
Thank you for friends and foe both alike
If not for trials I'd not be where I should be
Thank you for the many talents I have
Thank you for the ambitious dreams I have
Thank you for the hope of something eternal
Something to look forward on the other side

Farewell

Photograph by Pixel

I bid thee farewell oh lover from yesterday

I bid thee farewell oh worries of tomorrow

I bid thee farewell oh memories of old

I bid thee farewell oh dreams of gold

I bid thee farewell oh sadness and sorrow

I bid thee farewell oh joys to follow

I bid thee farewell. Oh! I bid thee farewell.

To be or not to be?

Life throws all kinds of challenges that we face each day
To be or not to be is a question in every man’s way
It’s a choice we all have to make each day
No matter the outcome or what come may
Should I write to him or not?
Will she get offended if I tell her off?
Should I call off this thing that I have with her?
Will he understand if I said what I said?
Should I continue in this abusive relationship?
Or should I just walk away and leave him behind?
W ill she understand if I left her cos I can’t take no more?
Or should I just zip it up and bear it a bit longer?
Is this love we have really getting us somewhere?
Its become dull and boring, how long must I stay?
Should I help my friend who plans to this crazy thing?
Or should I just let him deal with his own messes?

To be or not to be? – that is the question! ” – WS

It is a question for each day!

Past.Present.Future

The Past.

We were good friend. We used to talk for hours. God only knows what we spoke of – But we loved each others company that much.

The present part 1:

We became a much more than just good friends. I admired you. We fell in love. We started dating.

The present part 2:

We fell apart. I stopped admiring you. We didn’t say goodbye. I walked out. We never spoke since then.

The Future.

I know that you are doing well. You are happy. You are free. That makes me happy to see how far and well you’ve moved in life.

Past.Present.Future is always full of surprises. Everyone has regrets, but I don’t regret having known you in my life. You have always been a good human being and life will only bring your way happiness you deserve.

 

Memoirs to my brother

Remember the times we loved playing hide n’ seek you and I with some friends?
Those days of watching Beverly hills 90210 , Robin Hood, Allo Allo which was illegal for kids in our household

All the dress up games we simply loved to indulge in
The prayer meetings we used to conduct and play church

Photo by Victoria Borodinova on Pexels.com

The tape recording sessions we used to make with dad’s big radio player And the large never ending collection of music tapes we acquired

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Just singing Christmas carols hymns just for fun cos we loved to sing
All those little conversations of hours and secrets exchanged

Remember those times where we played endless games of cricket, hopscotch and dog and the bone?
All the board games into endless days and nights

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The moments we shared organizing our super massive stamp collection
Eating food from the refrigerator which was off-limits to you

The times we wrestled and it got personal and we hurt each other real bad
The places we just wandered off to without letting the adults know about it

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Remember those times of our younger days gone by?
I hold them dearly in my heart till my time on earth is done
If not for you, I don’t think this life would have been worthwhile
Thank you for these wonderful unique memories only you and I could have made

The Kiss

You are there but it does not seem like its you I know in real life

You wait patiently to catch me when I am alone and the one I am with has gone by

In a blinking of an eye you swiftly move towards and extend your arms around my waist

You pull me closer to you and attempt to kiss me- I refuse and rebel

You wouldn’t let me go and tell me how much you’ve missed me

Does it matter but I seem to be enjoying being held by you in this embrace

I did ask you to kiss me many years ago I think to myself

But I know its not right and I try to pull back and ask you to leave me alone

You won’t give up but squeeze me harder and kiss me

As your lips touch mine I refrain from kissing you back – I hold back

You continue to kiss me and now am feeling like it’s one way ticket to the moon

He comes back and swiftly you let go of me and stand there as if nothing happened

I am blushing in shock and shame that I let this happen

You wait calmly like a hawk to attack its prey

He leaves my side again and even before I could run away from you

Here I am in your arms again – you tell me you want me though I am someone elses

And you kiss me again, much longer and I lose my senses

You’ve known how much I wanted you to kiss me many years ago but you didn’t just do that

So why on earth now? We are none of that just good friends

I open my eyes and realize it was just a dream!

I lay awake thinking why I had seen you when I had not even thought of you all this while

The kiss in the dream felt so real, so warm and so desperate

Why did you come into my dreams to kiss me that way?

Photograph : http://www.pexels.com

Stars go Blue

Stars go blue when I close my eyes and think of you

The moments when nothing else exists besides you

Your smile, your voice the warmth of your love for me

That’s when the stars go for blue for me

Stars go blue every time you give me that look

That something special only we both know of that look

Your eyes dancing with a few unspoken words

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every time you take me by surprise

Words or deeds it doesn’t matter its my surprise

You know what surprises for me are meant to be

That’s when the stars go blue for me

Stars go blue every moment you spend with me

I know now that we are always meant to be

I thank God that you are mine and mine to be

That’s why the stars go blue for me

Photograph : Pexels

Red Backpack

She put all her dreams and hopes – her heart soul and mind

A little red backpack – she puts everything she’s got

Into your hands she places that red backpack one day

Trusting you to take care, guard and love all the way

You took the little red backpack and its belongings

Like toys you played and tossed them away

Lost all that was in the backpack with your games

Gone for far too long and in hiding you remained

She asked for it back one day so she could move on

And all you had to tell her were little white lies

She kept asking and asking as doubts started to multiply

Something was not right she begged for whats hers

You returned the red backpack to her one day

With nothing worthwhile just a backpack full of lies

Every time she looked in her backpack for whats hers

Her heart, soul, mind, dreams hopes and herself

Remains now regrets remorse and an emptiness so old

The little red backpack is now nothing but mere rubbish

Red backpack with dust now worn out and torn

She dumps its in the Dump truck for good its gone

Turning point

Lately, I’ve been thinking just as I have before

I didn’t want to know any one besides you

I chose to walk away, it was my decision

You let me act my choice and walked away

Decades gone by and both moved on with life

How nice to still strike a little conversation

With the one I dreamed of building my life with

We were just kids started off as good friends

Helping each other with teeenage years

What a fine man you have now become

Pure in heart yet sound in mind, faithful till the end

It was my turning point in life but I won’t go there

Its true that First Cut is the deepest nostalgic as it is

We all have our firsts and our turning point!

Tea with Duran Duran

If there is a place in streets of Fort, Colombo that makes me very nostalgic, I would say it is the Pagoda Tea Room at Chatham Street.

I guess it is my love towards the 80’s band Duran Duran; a great British band from Brummy.

Though I was exposed to thier music in the 80’s as a child and an early teen I was completely oblivious and ignorant to not know that the great footage from thier music video Hungry Like TheWolf was filmed mainly this is quaint tea room and surrounding streets of Fort, Colombo.

My British boss mentioned this to me back in 2010 but I did nothing to discover this place untill my husband-to-be at the time invited me here for a cuppa tea – According to Jude, the cupa tea served here along with an eclair or the infamouse pineapple gateau slice is heavenly. Few things we have in common is our sweet tooth. So, somewhere in 2012, I did actually made it to this place and I just felt so nostalgic. Hungry Like The Wolf just played in my head a million times.

To make things all the more interesting, we meet this server who as actually been working at this tea room at the time Duran Duran filmed the music video. So he said ” Ah ofcourse, I was just a young lad when Dooran Dooran was here”. So immediately we made a connection; I connected with this place so much since then.

During the years we enjoyed many lunch and tea times with just ourselves or with a friend or two never failing to tell the story of this place and at times wondered if Duran Duran would want to pay a visit here.

Time passes by and this is 2019. With my work in very close proximity to this tea house I always manage to escape and spend some time here to enjoy some snacks and bask in my nostalgic moment. Sadly, the delicious rice and curry is no longer served but as take away packs. The traditional tea has been replaced with machine made instant teas.

Tourists and locals alike make the best of this place today. I’ve even witnessed interviews and work meetings take place at the Pagoda Tea Room. I guess it has become somewhat of a cosy comfy hangout for many in the area may it be shopping, commuting or working.

Depsite the many changes that has taken place over the years, I believe as a Duran Duran fan, I will always cherish this tea room and have that strong connection for as long as I live.

To me it will always be a nostalgic memory that I have created in my head about having tea with Duran Duran whilst they prepared themselves for the music video Hungry Like The Wolf, which happens to be one of my favorite songs, espcially the rendition by David Cook champion of Americal Idol Season 7. A hint to my favourite things.

Cheers to Duran Duran!

Hello Bright 2019!

At the beginning of 2018, on my post Hello2018, I was rambling about the need to blog more often and to write sensible things.

Well, I am rather pleased with myself for having written over 50 posts (Applauds) with somewhat variety.

I want to take time to thank every single person who took time to stop by read, like, comment and also follow my blog. You have really encouraged me to keep on writing despite the mood or circumstance I was faced with. I’ve read some brilliant posts over the last year which has really helped me overcome some of my own weaknesses to which I am very thankful for.

So, thank you very much to everyone for your encouragement in many ways. My life is more adventerous and beautiful with you in it.

I wish you all a very Bright and Brilliant 2019! So Let your Light shine forth!

Be Right = BRight !

Much love from Dew

Think or Feel

So you think I what is feel is what I think

How silly of you to come to a conclusion as this

You ought to know by now more about me

My experiences are more of what I feel than think

Next time you make your silly jokes about 

Things that matter to me and close to my heart

Ask yourself more than once if you have to

If what you think and say would make me feel any better

You may not have dreams but I happen to do so!

Quaint Place – Idalgashinne

This unusual name on the train route from Colombo to Badulla caught my eye few weeks ago as I was just dreaming of a small holiday to get away and enjoy the weekend at a quaint little place – Idalgashinne.

It is a little town in the rail route between Ohiya and Haputale.

Srilankan railroutes are very scenic, especially those that travel via the luscious mountains of Sri Lanka with beautiful tea plantations and thick forests with surprising waterfalls. It is a must for any visitor who plans a holiday in Sri Lanka.

Well, I did not book the train in advance and then ended up going via jeep. The road to the litttle bunglow is quite rough at the last few km’s.

I had company and my friend was a capable driver we managed to get to our location before just after dark . I would advise you to take the train as a car cannot tread these last bits of the road and a good 4WD may cost you a fortune.

So after weeks of desiring to get there I did finally make it there. It was too dark to see anything by the time I reached there. However, I woke up to a glorious sunrise with clouds just lingering in the lower mountains and clear skies above bringing colour as the sun rose. It was beautiful. 

view from Peak Rest at Idalgashinne Sri Lanka
view from garden of Peak Rest at Idalgashinne
photograph :  RosheyFotografie

It was worth the wake at 530 in the morning to catch the sunrise. The mountains were gloriously blue. I call them the Blue mountains of Haputale.

If you do make a little trip to Sri Lanka do remember to just take the train or hike along the tracks to Idalgashinne. 

Bohemian Rhapsody

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) is a great movie in my opinion. It’s all about Freddie than it’s about Queen. Many fans would have expected it to be more of Queen but I thought otherwise and I loved every bit of it.

For obvious reasons its hard to get the real Mr.Faranheit but Rami Malek was the closest you can get I guess and I thought it was great effort put in by the actor though his eyes were so far from being Freddie.

Born in the 80’s,  a person such as myself was completely exposed to the madness of music in the 80’s and 90’s. I don’t think that my palette had a taste of Queen or Freddie as a youngster in early teens in the 90’s but I do remember seeing this woman with a moustache in the video “I want to break free

I immediately loved the song but had no clue what it was all about except the part ” God knows… I want to break free” as that is exactly what I accustomed to growing up in a family with very strict disciplinarians. Believe it or not I was not even allowed to watch music videos on TV programmes as it was considered evil and unholy.

Later in life I became a huge fan of Queen but was not too interested to know the life of Freddie himself but with the movie out I started doing a little research to read facts about his actual life.

The movie was so moving that I cried through the last bits where it depicted Queens performance at Live Aid 1985. I had no idea how big Live Aid was untill I started reading  Meltdown by Ben Elton . coincidently, I just read about Live Aid in this particular book just days before I went for the movie Bohemian Rhapsody. And it really resonated with me at the time, understanding about the life of Freddie.

I couldn’t help but wonder why the rest of the band members did or did not do to rescue Freddie from his promiscuous friends and lifestyle. Even Mary –  what had she done or not done.  One thought just flashed into my mind of something my father always told me. “Be careful of whom you call friends”. As I said my parents, my dad in particular was always so very concerned about the type of friends I had, and his over-protective stance has worked in two-ways. As a child it was hard for me to feel inclusive amongst certain circles of friends simply because I did not have the kind of freedom. But, later as I grew up and became an adult it has benefitted me in being able to understand about making and keeping friends good vs bad. Those that are true friends despite how the world sees them; which friends actually love me for who I am – my true self! This was an eye opener.

Anyway, back to Freddie.

This is one of favourite quotes of Mr. Farenheit. “When I’m dead, I want to be remembered as a musician of some worth and substance” – Freddie Mercury

How many of us out there even think  being of some worth and substance to ourselves or others?

I do not wish to be judgemental about Freddie. He left this wolrd when I was just 10 years old. But since I have made an effort to research of his life and works one thing is clear.

Above all, above fame and the limelight, he required only one thing and one thing alone in his life –  LOVE

He had so much love inside of him  –  But he did not know himself or how to express it! Its sad that he is no more!

It is all about Love end of the day! If there is no love – there is only one thing – Hate!

 

gray metal statue of man raising hand near dock
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

 

 

Imagine no democracy!

What is this country turning out into? Planet of the Apes!

Party hopping Politicians are too few to count these days!
Money has become their god, so there is no conscious of doing the right thing. It’s all about the money.. money… money…

Corruption and malpractices in the Governance of a country only leads to one thing and one thing alone.. Killing its own people. The people who placed their trust and voted the “suitable” folk in to power to make the change, action justice and develop the nation.

it is pathetic and humilating to see ourselves on the map for something like this!

In a few years time, a general knowledge question would pop up in a quiz

Question : “What is the Country that had 02 Prime Ministers at the same time?”
Answer : “Sri Lanka”

Photograph : Prexel

 

So high!

Is it a good thing or a bad thing

To climb every mountain my eyes behold
To fill up my lungs with the air on top
Bask in the clouds above the peaks
Feel the cool breeze passing by
Just chilax and click some frames

This is me just at this place called this “Worlds End”
Horton Plains in Sri Lanka my favourite place
I could just live here till my dying day
Watch the sun moon stars and clouds so high!

Photograph by :RosheYfotografie

Would I cry for you?

All this talk about death, graves and cemeteries has got me thinking of a little conversation I heard among two people.

“Would you cry for me at my death?” one asked the other

“Yes” was the simple but authentic answer

“Seriously.. lol” was the response of the person who questioned

Why is it so hard to believe that she would cry for you?

 

You may have done her all the wrong unimaginable

But did you forget that she is a rare gem with a big heart?

The kind that empathizes even with her worst of enemies

Yes ofcourse she would cry if she ever outlived you

 

Not everyone in this world is able to forget the past and move on

There’s so much preaching about forgiveness, none on forgetting

Its not the easiest thing to do when you’ve been ripped your heart open

For all to see what you were really believing and hoping for – the lie

But nevermind that time is long gone now, just a bad dream she says

 

It is not easy when the people who hurt you the most

Are none other than the ones you love the most

But end of the day with all said and done and some undone

Yes indeed someone will cry for you when you are gone

Becuase you made thier life a little bit more colourful end of the day!

Photograph by: Prexels

 

 

People on the Bench

So you’d see people at parks, airports, street corners and rail stations just seated on the bench. 

Recently I saw this interesting photograph of three men seated on a park bench.

I am moved to write this tale of three men on a park bench.

The picture is profound; in black and white.  In the absence of colours there is a lot which cannot be understood. The colours of the clothes the three men are wearing. If the weather on that day is sunny or gloomy etc.  The photograph is taken from the side angle of the bench and the bench facing the left of the photograph framed so well in the right corner with the three incumbents facing the left of the photograph. None of them seem to have any baggage on them. No wallet, no cigarettes. Nothing! Their hands are empty. Just themselves seated on the bench, waiting for something or someone.

The man in the middle is a relatively young man and the other two probably in their 60’s. Yet again age and looks are deceiving these days. They may not be that old as I presume them to be.  The young man in the middle holds claps his palms together in mid-air with a slight smile on his face. Maybe, just may be he was aware of the photograph that was taken.

The other two men looking thoughtful. I do not know if this is one family as they are all seated so close to each other in that small park bench.

The man on the right most corner of the picture has a slight frown I believe. He has got white hair and moustache. May be he was sceptical of the photographer invading his privacy or may be he was intrigued to know what beauty beheld the eyes of the photographer.

The man on the left corner also has his hands in some midway gesture. There is a slight motion; he has his right hand on his right cheek and his left hand clinging on to his right arm. He has a slight grin on his face. It seems lit up in comparison to the man on the right. May be he fancied his photograph been taken.

I wonder what their emotions and thoughts were just before the photographer appeared on the scene, or how the awareness of thier photo been captured shifted gears in thier emotions and thoughts.  Despite the inadequacy of information on a black and white photograph I always see things very plain in black and white.

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